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We like the idea of “ministry-as-family”, so why is it a struggle to live it out?

Our understanding of ministry tends to be that it’s an adult thing, and if you include kids, it’s in limited or even limiting ways; including kids takes work and often feels inconvenient.  Ministry is so much easier when the kids can go to Children’s Ministry and the adults can do their thing!

Easier doesn’t mean better.  While there are some elements of ministry that aren’t kid-friendly, and while logistics are easier without wide-spread ages, this mentality reveals two things:

• We tend to limit the power of the Spirit in our ministry
• We tend to limit the purpose of the Spirit’s ministry

For us, ministry often becomes “fixing the things”, but what if full-family engagement is part of what God is trying to accomplish?  What if the young child slows up the tasks, but his involvement is planting seeds for something greater than our checklist?

To be fair, we do not see much full-family engagement in scripture; we read stories of adult individuals on solo ventures, and internalize that into how we seek and serve God.  However, Scripture makes it clear that full-family engagement is God’s expectation:

Assemble the people—men, women and children, and the foreigners residing in your towns—so they can listen and learn to fear the Lord your God and follow carefully all the words of this law.
Deuteronomy 31:12

The listening, learning, and following was not a solo-venture, but one engaged by all people of all ages.  Yet despite many similar passages, generations missed it; by the time we get to Jesus, he had to call them out for limiting the role of kids in ministry:

Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.”
Matthew 19:14

Human logic says the best people for a task are the wisest, strongest, and most experienced; meanwhile “God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong.” (1 Corinthians 1:27)  If God can work through the foolish and weak, why do we believe He can’t work through children?  As I’ve often heard it put, “There’s no ‘Holy Spirit Jr.'”

The lack of overt “ministry-as-family” passages does not mean it did not exist; in fact, our issue today is failing to understand how deeply family and inter-generational engagement was tied to the daily functioning of individuals and believers alike.  Believing families sought and served God together so much that it didn’t need to be overtly named in scripture, it was assumed.

What if our understanding of “ministry-as-family” is misaligned?  Fortunately, scripture brings clarification.

• Scripture shows that bodies of believers have always been inter-generational.  Embracing this allows us to stop seeing kids as add-ons and inconveniences, and more as equal participants.  The Apostle Paul confronted ageism in 1 Timothy 4:12.
• Scripture is clear that being used by the Spirit is not based on what we bring to the table.  During our Family DTS Outreach, it was often the baby in our group of three families that led to the most ministry, and he could neither walk nor talk.  The Spirit can work through anyone, and honestly kids pose less resistance than adults to his movement.
• Scripture reshapes what a “successful ministry” is and how to get there.  So many of God’s plans seemed foolish, reckless, and impossible, and yet they worked; and so often they “worked” for goals vastly different than the people expected.  Our human plans may require grown folks with skills, but God’s ways are not our ways. (Isaiah 55:8)
• Scripture emphasizes the pursuit of unified community over outcomes.  While there may be fruit of our efforts, it’s the engaging-together that brings the true fruit.  The measure of a family effectively seeking God together is not what they accomplish it, but that they are seeking Him as one.

My wife and I have strived to live out “ministry-as-family” for nearly 12 years, and have more missteps than perceived wins; however, we are learning that our kids are valuable part of God’s work, because the Spirit can (and does) work through them to accomplish things we didn’t anticipate so that we can seek God together even more.  We will continue to learn this lesson as long as we are parents.

Along the way, God gives us glimpses of His work.  My daughter and I recently collaborated on a kids’ book, “Tori the Tornado topples a tower“, with engagement from the whole family.  We do not know what God has planned for this, but the process itself has been inspiring and encouraging.  I have been blown away by the spiritual maturity of my daughter as she used her artistic skills to encourage and equip kids like her!  Even if the book didn’t sell a single copy, us seeking God as a family has been fruitful on an eternal level.

“Ministry-as-family” is as simple as choosing to seek God as a family, releasing our expectations and approaches and simply saying, “Here we are, God.”  What happens next will look different from family-to-family, season-to-season, but the movement of the Spirit will be faithfully true in each.

Want to hear our “ministry-as-family”?  Our kids helped make a quick promo for the book, and it’s incredibly cute.  If you like it, consider buying a book and spreading the word!  In fact, we are taking a leap of faith, believing God can use this book to help another become professionally published!  Learn more at www.wheredidyouseeGod.com/tori-the-tornado