This is Part 4 of our ongoing series, “If you, then y’all.”
Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind.
Philippians 2:1-2
“Comfort from his love” vs “Maintaining the same love”
Admittedly, I rarely thought about Down’s Syndrome before 2013.
It was not that I did not care, but it had not personally touched me until my closest friends received the diagnosis months into their pregnancy. For the past 12 years I’ve been far more aware and cared more deeply because of my love for my friends and their son.
Love is like that for us; our awareness and care increases the more we are impacted, and the less we are involved, the less it is on our radar. I never thought about Down’s Syndrome until I needed to, though now I want others to care more as well. My shift pales in comparison to that of his parents.
The diagnosis sent them both into a deep personal, emotional, and spiritual reckoning as they processed how life would change. On a human level, it could seem too much. I appreciated the raw honesty of the father, who during a time of worship prayed, “What did I do to deserve this God?!” He was struck by God’s blunt immediate reply: “Oh, you don’t deserve this son. He is too good a gift for you, but I am giving him to you anyway.”
As one who desired to be a good father, the Good Father slammed him with a major lesson on love. God did not love him less because He allowed hardship; on the contrary, entrusting this child to him was a profound display of love. My friend’s commitment to love changed that day, and has deepened every day since as he’s raised this “good gift.”
For the mother, love for her son led her to lament all he would miss out on in life. God confronted her understanding of love as He provoked her on what really matters. “Down’s Syndrome would not affect my son’s ability to have a relationship with God; why, then, am I so upset and worried? My heart and values were focused on the things of this world. I was so worried that my son would not have some of those things that I was not focusing on the fact that I was about to have a baby who would have the capability to love God and love people. In fact, his extra chromosome may make him more uniquely gifted to demonstrate a love for God’s people.” This has proven to be true time and again in how their son loves his friends and family, and how it has produced love in return..
My friends had both known what it was to be comforted by God in their lives, and God pressed them far beyond themselves to a deeper, wider understanding of love. The NASB translates it as “maintaining the same love,” implying an intentionality beyond simply “having” love. We are ready to receive love, possibly even give it at times, but maintenance requires an ongoing awareness and commitment to ensure love abounds.
As parents who love their son, they were ready to maintain that love, though his needs and challenges require far more than they ever thought they could give; a dozen years later, they are still maintaining love. We must embody the same for each other, allowing the love God has shown us to expand beyond us, giving and receiving a level of love that only comes through our Good Father.
“We love because he first loved us” (1 John 4:19)
“As I have loved you, so you must love one another.” (John 13:34b)
