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In 2025, I found myself
wrestling with frustration that

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God was not giving me joy.
And then God very patiently told

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me what was actually happening.
It wasn’t that he was

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withholding joy, it was that I
was rejecting it.

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What followed was an invitation
to spend 30 days looking at 30

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passages on Joy and turning it
into a devotional called

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Rejecting Joy No longer.
You’d think I would have learned

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that coming into 2026, I was
wrestling with hope.

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God, why are you making me so
hopeless?

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And God very patiently let me
know the reality.

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He wasn’t withholding hope.
I was rejecting it.

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And so now here I am, spending
30 days looking at 30 passages

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on hope.
And my hope is that this

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encourages you.
One thing that’s different this

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year is I felt like God was
inviting me to be publicly

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transparent with my processing.
To actually go live on social

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media, pull out a random verse,
and then read and process

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through it on camera.
This isn’t me coming to you as

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an expert on hope, but me coming
to you honestly as someone

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wrestling with hope.
And by witnessing that some of

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you might feel less alone, may
feel seen and understood, may

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end up being encouraged in a way
that is far deeper than the best

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platitude.
So join me as I spend 30 days

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navigating 30 passages on Hope.
This is day 20.

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You’re listening to episode 227
of the Where Did You See God

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podcast.
Father God, I just thank you

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that you were God and you were
good and pray for you to move in

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this space.
Holy Spirit, guide my fingers to

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the verse that I need to spend
time with today.

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Pray for open eyes and open ears
for not just me but those

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listening, that we would
understand what you mean by hope

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a little more deeply after this
time.

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Lost premise, holy name, Amen.
All righty folks, we remain in

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Psalm.
Oh OK, this one is a Psalm I

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spent lots of time with
throughout my life.

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Psalm 4211.
Why are you cast down, Oh my

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soul, and why are you in turmoil
within me?

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Hope and God, for I shall again
praise Him, my salvation and my

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God.
You know, at the start of this

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adventure, we talked about how
you know where heart, minds,

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soul and strength.
And there was a situation in

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which the soul recognized that
the Lord is our portion.

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While 75% of us might not have
agreed with it, it’s possible

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for the different parts of us to
perceive God in different ways.

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Does that mean the soul is
always right?

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No, it does not mean that
because Psalm 42 reveals a

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moment where the soul was not
correct.

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This is for the director of
music, Amaskill of the Sons of

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Korra.
Interesting.

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OK, All right.
Yep.

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OK As the deer pants for streams
of water, so my soul pants for

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you.
My God, my soul thirsts for God,

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for the living God.
When can I go and meet with God?

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My tears have been my food day
and night, while people say to

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me all day long, where is your
God?

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These things I remember as I
pour out my soul, how I used to

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go down to the House of God
under the protection of the

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Mighty One, with shouts of joy
and praise among the festive

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throng.
Why, my soul, are you downcast?

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Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God, for I will

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yet praise Him, my Savior and my
God.

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My soul is downcast within me.
Therefore I will remember you

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from the land of Jordan.
The heights of Herman, from

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Mount Mizar deep caused a deep
in the roar of your waterfalls.

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All your waves and Breakers have
swept over me.

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By day the Lord directs his
love, At night his song is with

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me, A prayer to the God of my
life.

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I say to God, my rock, Why have
you forgotten me?

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Why must I go about mourning?
Oppressed by my enemy, my bones

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suffer mortal agony, as my foes
taught me, Saying to me all day

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long, Where is your God?
Why, my soul, are you downcast?

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Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God, for I will

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yet praise Him, my Savior, and
my God.

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So I’ve always appreciated this
verse, specifically verses 5:00

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and 11:00, because of the
contrast it offers between what

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is being perceived and what is
understood, and what the

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psalmist is calling his soul to
do in response.

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Why my soul are you downcast?
Why are you cast down on my

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soul?
Well, I mean, there’s plenty of

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reason, right?
The psalmist has been thirsting

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for God, and instead his tears
have been his food.

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Like even the people looking at
him are like, where’s your God?

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You’re in rough shape.
Why is your God not showing up?

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The psalmist is remembering how
things used to be, how he used

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to go to the House of God under
the protection of the Mighty

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One, with shouts of joy and
praise among the festive throng.

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His soul’s downcast because he
feels forgotten.

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Why have you forgotten me?
Why must I go about mourning?

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Oppressed by the enemy, my bones
suffer mortal agony as my foes

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taunts me.
So the psalmist is in a rough

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situation, so rough that even
those around him recognize it.

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And they’re like, where’s your
God?

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But the question 5 and 11 is
valid.

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Why am I so?
Are you downcast?

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It doesn’t have the emphasis.
But I’m thinking, I wonder if

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there is an emphasis in there
because again, we started this

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journey talking about a
situation in which the heart,

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mind and strength were deeply
brought down by the hardship.

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But the soul said, the Lord is
my portion.

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The soul saw something beyond
the here and now, light and

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momentary struggles.
But in this situation, even the

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soul is downcast.
Even the souls had enough.

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And so the psalmist, maybe it’s
the 75% talking to the 25% now,

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it’s like, hey, we’re already
struggling.

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You can’t be struggling too.
So why are you disturbed within

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me?
Why are you down gas?

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You need to hurry up and put
your hope in God.

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I’m just struck by the situation
in which even the soul can

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struggle because I can
understand my mind struggling

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because things don’t make sense.
I can understand my heart

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struggling because I’m
depressed.

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I can understand my body
struggling because I’m I’m

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fatigued and exhausted and no
energy left.

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I can understand all that, but
the soul, I mean, you kind of

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count on the soul being
something outside of those

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limitations.
But things got rough enough for

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the psalmist that even his soul
was downcast and disturbed.

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But that collaborative effort of
the full being called it out and

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demanded that the soul put its
hope in God.

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For I will yet praise him, my
Savior, and my God.

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So here’s my encouragement to
you.

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If you were in a place where
your tears have been your food

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day and night, there’s sorrow in
your heart.

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Your bones suffer mortal agony.
If you’re in that place and you

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feel like every part of you is
downcast and disturbed, know

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that it’s not the end.
That God has designed us in such

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a way that when one or multiple
parts of ourselves fail to see

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truth, the Spirit can get at
least a portion to see the

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truth, whether it’s the soul
speaking to the rest of the body

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or the rest of the body speaking
to the soul.

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Scripture makes it clear that
God does not abandon us.

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And I think this is an example
of what that can look like.

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That when we are ready to
abandon ourselves, God has

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designed us in such a way that
something kicks in.

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That when even the soul is
downcast, something kicks in to

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call it back to hope.
So we have an opportunity to be

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aware of these different
elements of how we function, how

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we see God, how we engage with
God, but also to trust that God

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has designed us in such a way
that they will kick in at the

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lowest point.
Psalm 4211 Why are you cast

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down, Oh my soul, and why are
you in turmoil within me?

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Hope in God, for I shall again
praise him, my salvation and my

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God.
By the God, we thank you that

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you are God and good.
We thank you that you are our

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salvation.
We thank You that when we have

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no capacity to praise, we can
still claim that we will yet

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praise you.
And finally, God, we acknowledge

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sometimes our souls are downcast
and disturbed within us.

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We thank You that you designed
us in such a way that even that

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is not the end, but we do
acknowledge it.

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We acknowledge that we can get
low.

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Father God, we praise You that
you lift us up.

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We relinquish our hopes for the
timing of that and the ways of

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that, and trust your judgement
on that, unless very much only

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in precious name.
Amen.