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In 2025, I found myself
wrestling with frustration that

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God was not giving me joy.
And then God very patiently told

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me what was actually happening.
It wasn’t that he was

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withholding joy, it was that I
was rejecting it.

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What followed was an invitation
to spend 30 days looking at 30

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passages on Joy and turning it
into a devotional called

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Rejecting Joy No longer.
You’d think I would have learned

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that coming into 2026, I was
wrestling with hope.

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God, why are you making me so
hopeless?

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And God very patiently let me
know the reality.

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He wasn’t withholding hope.
I was rejecting it.

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And so now here I am, spending
30 days looking at 30 passages

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on hope.
And my hope is that this

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encourages you.
One thing that’s different this

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year is I felt like God was
inviting me to be publicly

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transparent with my.
Processing to.

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Actually go live on social
media, pull out a random verse

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and then read and process
through it on camera.

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This isn’t me coming to you as
an expert on hope, but me coming

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to you honestly as someone
wrestling with hope.

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And by witnessing that some of
you might feel less alone, may

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feel seen and understood, may
end up being encouraged in a way

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that is far deeper than the best
platitude.

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So join me as I spend 30 days
navigating 30 passages.

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On Hope.
This is day 21.

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You’re listening to episode 228
of the Where Did You See God

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podcast.
Coming to you now because

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there’s pouring rain and we have
some severe storms coming so

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might as well record while I
still have power it’s heavy out

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there so there’s the Thunder
this may be a shorter one than

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usual all right finally got a
thing that you were got and you

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were good and I thank you for
the way that you moved so I just

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lift up this moment now that you
would just.

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Guide.
Me to the verse Holy Spirit give

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me and those listening ears to
hear how the God there’s

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something you want to
communicate about hope that we

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are either missing or avoiding
so you know what to do.

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We give this time to you ask her
what’s my name Amen.

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Either the lightning or the
slights flickering.

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Psalm 14711 But the Lord takes
pleasure in those who fear him,

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in those who hope in His
steadfast love.

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This is interesting.
I know many people, and I was

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included in this for a chunk of
my life, who really struggle

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with the concept of fearing God
because we understand fear in a

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very specific way.
Fear is bad and Bible even says

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fear not.
And you don’t fear good things,

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you fear bad things.
And so we’re told to do

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something, we’re told to fear
God, which we’re also told not

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to have a spirit of fear.
It then conveys in our mind and

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understanding of God as someone
dangerous and cruel in someone

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to be feared.
In this passage again

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acknowledges we should fear God,
but the Lord takes pleasure in

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those who fear him.
And I’ll pause there.

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I’m thinking of a specific
friend of mine who that section

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of the verse would be like, that
is messed up.

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Like you take pleasure in
someone fearing you.

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What kind of person does that?
But then it follows with this in

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those who hope in his steadfast
love.

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Like, you’ve got this concept of
fear and our understanding of

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what it is that should be feared
paired with steadfast love, not

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just love, but steadfast love,
love that perseveres.

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And so we’ve really got to
grapple with what fear actually

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is.
All right, let’s see what Miriam

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Webster has for us.
Let’s just see.

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I mean, I know what fear means,
but sometimes you can get some

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nuanced definitions.
An unpleasant, often strong

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emotion caused by anticipation
or awareness of danger.

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That is where we often lean in
our understanding of it.

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Aha, OK, no.
Well, the second definition,

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profound irreverence in all,
especially towards God.

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So that’s how we’re told to use
fear.

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And then the third is a reason
for alarm.

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So I want to lean into that
third one, I think because the

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first one doesn’t work with this
passage.

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An unpleasant, often strong
emotion caused by anticipation

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or awareness of danger.
I mean, I could make a case for

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it, but in the way that we lean
to it doesn’t doesn’t feel like

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it fits.
The second one obviously does

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because it’s written for this
profound reverence and all,

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especially toward God.
That third one reason for alarm,

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the way I’ve come to understand
fear is it is a reaction in US

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based on a deep awareness of a
thing or of what could happen.

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And we fear the things that
could overpower us in some way.

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So it’s a fear maybe of
something overpowering us.

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We don’t want that.
We don’t want to lose control.

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We don’t want to lose safety.
We don’t want to lose anything

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really.
And so fear kicks in, You know,

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we won’t go up to the mic for
karaoke because we’re afraid of

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what people will think.
Or we won’t take that new job

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because we’re afraid of what
will happen.

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Or we won’t go into that certain
area because we’re afraid of the

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people.
Or we won’t, right?

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Like we had these things that
guide us.

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Sometimes fear can be good
because it rightly keeps us from

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a space.
Sometimes fear can be unhelpful,

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like the karaoke example, if you
don’t go up to the mic, it’s not

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going to be the worst thing in
the world, but you might miss

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out on discovering a fun time,
right?

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And then sometimes fear can be
very detrimental.

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Fear has broken up a lot of
relationships because the fear

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was based on something in the
past and then projected onto the

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new person.
We’ve got to be really careful

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with fear because it’s not just
that.

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Fear is our response to
something that can overpower us.

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We give power to the fear.
We give our keys to the fear.

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Here’s the thing, we are humans
that will pass away like we are

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on the road to dying.
Our bodies are in process of

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degrading from the day we’re
born to the day we die.

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And so it is understandable that
this fear radar would be going

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off because the order we get,
the more we have lost and the

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more we stand to lose and the
closer we are to losing

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everything.
And if you don’t believe in

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eternity, you don’t believe in
God, then yeah, you’ve got to

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listen to those fears.
If you do believe in eternity,

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in God, then suddenly something
changes because Jesus said death

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has lost its sting.
The martyrs realized, oh,

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protecting my life isn’t the
greatest thing anymore.

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Like I could be martyred and it
actually be a good thing.

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They wrested power back from
fear and they gave it to God.

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Because here’s the thing, if
we’re taking fear as something

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that we’re afraid will overpower
us, that’s why we don’t fear God

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most of the time.
Because we don’t actually want

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God to have power over us.
Because we often don’t agree

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with the direction He seems to
be going, the ways He seems to

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be functioning.
His ways are not our ways and

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His thoughts are not our
thoughts.

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And God, it would be really nice
if you would just make this job

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situation work out or this
relationship situation work out,

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or this financial situation work
out.

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And then He doesn’t.
And we don’t like that.

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We don’t want to give power to
that.

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We don’t actually understand
God.

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Because in a recent passage that
we read, the psalmist is talking

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about all the bad things that
are happening, all the ways that

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they’re supposed to respond to
God.

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And then they say Psalm 119,
verse 20.

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My flesh trembles in fear of
you.

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I stand in all of your laws.
I’ll just read what I wrote.

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Verse 120 tells us.
My flesh trembles in fear of

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you.
I stand in all of your laws.

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This is not a mere logical
decision.

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The psalmist has come to an
understanding of God in such a

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way that there is no question
that abiding with Him is the

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only true option.
From this standpoint, logic

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falls in line.
All other voices are limited in

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their experience, scope, and
capacity for integrity, while

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the Word is eternal, has and
will experience all, and has no

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limitations.
Only one of those is worth

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planting.
Our hope makes me think of the

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Chronicles of Narnia when one of
the kids asks, I guess the

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Beavers, if Aslan the Lion is
safe and they say something to

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the effect of safe.
Oh no, no, he’s not safe, but he

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is good.
We forget how all powerful, how

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mighty, how deserving of all
praise God is.

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We have not experienced what
many in Scripture have

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experienced, where this is not
even that they encounter God,

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they encounter an Angel and
that’s enough to send them flat

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on their face saying I’m as good
as dead.

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We don’t have that kind of
reverence.

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And so we will be more like the
Israelites who will be aware of

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God, decide we don’t want His
ways and basically disrespect

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and dishonor Him by just living
like we want to live.

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That is not fearing God.
Fearing God would be like

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Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego
who don’t want to die, but

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they’re like our God could save
us, but even if he doesn’t,

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we’re not going to bound on
anything but him.

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They feared God, they recognized
God deserved everything up to

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the point of their lives, even
if he wasn’t going to justify

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it.
I’m thinking again in my friend

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who would have issue with this
verse and and I think he is

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right when based just on a human
understanding like no human

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deserves that level of fear,
that level of obedience, that

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level of sacrifice, no human.
But if God.

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Exists and if he is God, and if
he did create us, then he

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actually does deserve that.
Anything less, it’s not just

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insufficient, it is it is wrong.
So this is an opportunity.

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Again, our fear is we don’t want
something overpowering us and we

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don’t want to fear God because
we don’t want God overpowering

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us because he could take away
everything.

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And This is why it brings God
pleasure because when we fear

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him, when we say, you know what,
here I am, I’m dying to all

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things, as Jesus said, I’m
hating my father, mother, I’m

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ready to break all ties for your
sake.

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Like that is an intense decision
that is not taken lightly.

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And when somebody does that,
entrust their entirety to God,

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he doesn’t bring God pleasure
because he’s like, oh, yeah, I

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got another one.
It brings some pleasure because

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he’s like, I have longed to be
in connection with you again.

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And all these ties have been
separations.

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And I was not going to force
connection.

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00:12:06,520 –> 00:12:09,160
I was going to invite it and
invite it and invite it and

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00:12:09,160 –> 00:12:11,560
invite it.
And finally, finally, you were

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realizing that the pathway to me
is to cut the ties to all these

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other things.
You might lose some of those

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things.
They weren’t things that you

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00:12:18,720 –> 00:12:20,560
needed.
Some of those things you’ll find

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00:12:20,560 –> 00:12:23,040
you won’t lose.
And by holding on to them so

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00:12:23,040 –> 00:12:25,200
tightly, you actually lessened
your experience of them.

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00:12:25,200 –> 00:12:32,360
But but in releasing your hold
on all of it and orienting

200
00:12:32,360 –> 00:12:36,200
yourself towards me, you, you
are finally, finally on the path

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00:12:36,720 –> 00:12:39,200
to finally be back in union with
me.

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00:12:39,920 –> 00:12:44,280
So that’s why it brings God
pleasure, because he is a God of

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00:12:44,280 –> 00:12:47,440
steadfast love.
This is why nobody else is

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00:12:47,440 –> 00:12:51,000
deserving of that level.
Because no one else is the

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00:12:51,120 –> 00:12:56,520
essence of love, and so
everything else and everyone

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00:12:56,520 –> 00:13:01,600
else will have that limitation
that at some point they could

207
00:13:01,600 –> 00:13:05,000
make the devotion about
themselves in an unhealthy way.

208
00:13:06,040 –> 00:13:09,920
God’s invitation is based in a
love that we don’t understand.

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00:13:11,760 –> 00:13:15,800
Psalm 14711 But the Lord takes
pleasure in those who fear Him,

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00:13:15,880 –> 00:13:20,880
and those who hope in His
steadfast love, those who hope

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00:13:21,840 –> 00:13:25,280
in His steadfast love.
So we fear him, we give Him

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00:13:25,280 –> 00:13:30,480
power over our lives, and we
hope in His love.

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00:13:30,480 –> 00:13:33,080
That having that healthy
understanding that God can

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00:13:33,120 –> 00:13:38,080
overpower our lives, that we
allow it to happen in hope of

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00:13:38,080 –> 00:13:43,320
His love, that we say, I fear
this and I’m leaning into it.

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00:13:43,320 –> 00:13:46,200
I know that God could utterly
ruin me.

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00:13:46,640 –> 00:13:49,920
And I’m leaning into it because
I believe He will utterly love

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me.
This is a positioning we make

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not just in a singular moment,
but how we are choosing to

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Orient our understanding of
reality.

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And when we do this, it will
impact how we respond in every

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other situation.
When we have a healthy fear of

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God, when we have a healthy
understanding that God could

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overpower us, and then when we
have a hope in His love that

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allows us to do it in any and
every situation, we can end up

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finding out that it’s good for
God to be powerful in our lives.

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And it changes everything when
his love comes through.

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All right, Hopefully all that
made sense.

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Yeah.
I am still tired.

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I have not had a good night’s
sleep in a long, long, long

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time.
But particularly in the last

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week and a half, still
acclimating to the C pap got a

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new mask and that has.
That was a good move.

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It does not feel like I’m like
suffocating, catches the nasal

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pillows.
I’ve been able to fall asleep

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with it, which is a big step up.
I’ve not been able to stay

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asleep with it and it usually
gets to around 2:00 or so in the

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morning when I need to get at
least adequate sleep.

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Even if it’s the old bad sleep.
Old bad sleep is better than

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really disjointed, not as bad
sleep.

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It’ll break, make braining hard.
So words different.

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Let me read the verse once more
time once more time.

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Oh my goodness, y’all.
Psalm 14711 But the Lord takes

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pleasure in those who fear him,
and those who hope in his

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steadfast love.
Finally, God, we thank you that

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you were gone.
You were good for the ways that

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you move.
And right now we do acknowledge

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that it is hard for us to fear
you because we don’t want to

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acknowledge that not only can
you overpower us, but you

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should.
It’s easier to ignore you than

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to fear you.
That you deserve no less than

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our full reference.
It’s hard for us to hope in you

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because we don’t trust your
steadfast love.

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But you are love.
God is love.

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It’s a Holy Spirit move in our
ability to see what healthy fear

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in God is and to understand what
healthy hope in His love is, and

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to lean in it in a simple way.
Today that’s pretty much the

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only name.
Amen.