1
00:00:00,680 –> 00:00:03,960
When I came out of an unplanned
hiatus from conversations on

2
00:00:03,960 –> 00:00:08,480
this podcast, I was flooded with
guests from Pod Match, and it’s

3
00:00:08,480 –> 00:00:11,560
been intriguing to me to see the
connections that God has been

4
00:00:11,560 –> 00:00:14,120
making through disconnected
guests.

5
00:00:14,560 –> 00:00:19,080
In the last conversation, we
focused heavily not just on love

6
00:00:19,400 –> 00:00:22,920
but fatherlessness, and we’re
going from a conversation about

7
00:00:22,920 –> 00:00:26,680
the parent leaving a
relationship to 1 focused on the

8
00:00:26,680 –> 00:00:30,800
child leaving the relationship.
The topic of estrangement is

9
00:00:30,800 –> 00:00:34,640
incredibly important to Mallrick
Welker, and she knows the pain

10
00:00:34,640 –> 00:00:38,360
on both ends.
She was the child estranged from

11
00:00:38,360 –> 00:00:42,720
her parents and the parent with
whom a child became estranged.

12
00:00:43,240 –> 00:00:46,720
And in the midst of that, a very
important truth has become her

13
00:00:46,720 –> 00:00:50,240
focus.
Knowing our true identity is

14
00:00:50,240 –> 00:00:53,080
vital to navigating the
hardships of life.

15
00:00:53,760 –> 00:00:56,280
However, this can be hard
because there are so many things

16
00:00:56,280 –> 00:01:00,440
speaking into our identity.
There’s only one true identity

17
00:01:00,480 –> 00:01:03,360
that she holds to, and she
invites us to do the same.

18
00:01:03,920 –> 00:01:07,160
If the topics of estrangement or
identity are relevant to your

19
00:01:07,160 –> 00:01:10,360
life right now, you will be
encouraged by this conversation.

20
00:01:11,960 –> 00:01:15,800
You’re listening to episode 245
of the Where Did You See God

21
00:01:15,800 –> 00:01:31,160
podcast.
Father God, I just want to thank

22
00:01:31,160 –> 00:01:34,840
you that you are God and you are
good and that you have brought

23
00:01:34,920 –> 00:01:38,720
Mara and I together for reasons
that we don’t even know yet.

24
00:01:39,080 –> 00:01:41,600
We have ideas of where you could
take the conversation.

25
00:01:41,600 –> 00:01:44,600
We know there are important
things that we could discuss,

26
00:01:44,600 –> 00:01:46,320
but right now we just say here
we are.

27
00:01:46,760 –> 00:01:49,080
And Holy Spirit, we invite you
to move and guide our thoughts

28
00:01:49,080 –> 00:01:52,840
and words and responses.
We thank you for the gift of

29
00:01:52,840 –> 00:01:58,000
stories and we thank you for the
gift of your wisdom threaded

30
00:01:58,000 –> 00:02:00,120
throughout.
And so we think you in advance

31
00:02:00,120 –> 00:02:03,240
for how you’re going to use this
time here and beyond.

32
00:02:03,720 –> 00:02:05,840
I Spearing most holy and
precious name.

33
00:02:06,080 –> 00:02:07,320
Amen.
Amen.

34
00:02:07,560 –> 00:02:09,720
Thank you.
Well, my right I’m.

35
00:02:09,919 –> 00:02:13,440
Excited to talk and there really
is so much you could share.

36
00:02:13,600 –> 00:02:17,240
But before we jump in, what
would you want people to know

37
00:02:17,240 –> 00:02:20,800
about who you are?
I’m a daughter of God.

38
00:02:22,200 –> 00:02:26,840
That’s all they need to know.
Short and sweet and to the

39
00:02:26,840 –> 00:02:28,640
point.
You know, what’s interesting is

40
00:02:28,640 –> 00:02:33,640
we were talking before and it’s
interesting how in our faith

41
00:02:33,640 –> 00:02:39,200
there is such an emphasis on
close relationship, familiar

42
00:02:39,200 –> 00:02:42,920
relationship.
And of the many things that I

43
00:02:42,960 –> 00:02:45,840
know about you and the many
things that you’ve shared, one

44
00:02:45,840 –> 00:02:48,920
thing you noted that something
that you are very passionate

45
00:02:48,920 –> 00:02:52,440
about for reasons we’ll get
into, is this idea of

46
00:02:52,440 –> 00:02:56,400
estrangement, of disconnection.
And had a very strong sense that

47
00:02:56,400 –> 00:02:58,720
maybe this is the direction we
should go in the conversation.

48
00:02:58,720 –> 00:03:04,240
Because the conversation I
recorded before this one was

49
00:03:04,240 –> 00:03:08,640
with a man who spends most of
his life coming alongside young

50
00:03:08,640 –> 00:03:12,600
men who are estranged from their
fathers and seeing the damage

51
00:03:12,600 –> 00:03:15,960
that comes from those broken
relationships and working hard

52
00:03:15,960 –> 00:03:18,600
to re instill love into their
lives.

53
00:03:19,640 –> 00:03:22,840
And so this is a topic that’s
very important to you.

54
00:03:22,840 –> 00:03:27,600
Why is it one that is on your
mind and one that you want to

55
00:03:27,600 –> 00:03:32,560
press into with your life?
When estrangement happens,

56
00:03:33,240 –> 00:03:36,840
people blame themselves.
They feel shame, they feel

57
00:03:36,840 –> 00:03:40,800
guilt.
I’m referring to the parents and

58
00:03:40,800 –> 00:03:43,680
they have been blamed by their
child and rejected for a

59
00:03:43,680 –> 00:03:47,160
specific reason or a vague
reason or no reason at all and

60
00:03:47,160 –> 00:03:50,200
snuck out in the middle of the
night as I’ve seen happen with

61
00:03:50,200 –> 00:03:55,480
no word, no note, and they’re
left wondering or they’re hurt

62
00:03:55,520 –> 00:03:57,920
and then they question what did
I do?

63
00:03:58,160 –> 00:04:00,200
Unless they’ve committed severe
abuse.

64
00:04:00,920 –> 00:04:06,240
My son’s a social worker.
He informed me that in his job

65
00:04:06,240 –> 00:04:11,000
working for the state, about 95%
of moms have done an adequate

66
00:04:11,000 –> 00:04:14,000
job that their child can go
forward and live a successful

67
00:04:14,000 –> 00:04:18,240
life.
So when I say that most of these

68
00:04:18,240 –> 00:04:24,640
moms are good moms, I mean it.
The statistics are there for all

69
00:04:24,640 –> 00:04:28,560
the other ends of it, for abuse
being at an all time low for the

70
00:04:28,560 –> 00:04:31,960
last 20 years and way low before
that.

71
00:04:33,760 –> 00:04:36,720
The perspective has changed
because the definitions have

72
00:04:36,720 –> 00:04:39,360
changed.
And so everyone has experienced

73
00:04:39,360 –> 00:04:44,040
trauma and abuse.
And then people lean into that

74
00:04:44,880 –> 00:04:48,200
and they find that they can
blame other people for their

75
00:04:48,200 –> 00:04:53,560
pain, and then their parent
embodies that pain and they

76
00:04:53,560 –> 00:04:56,760
reject their parent and they’ve
removed the trigger, but they

77
00:04:56,760 –> 00:05:00,840
haven’t removed the problem.
But the reason why I’m so

78
00:05:00,840 –> 00:05:06,920
adamant about talking about this
is because these parents and I

79
00:05:06,920 –> 00:05:11,560
work solely with Christian moms,
but these parents have so much

80
00:05:11,560 –> 00:05:15,520
pain and they isolate because of
shame.

81
00:05:16,840 –> 00:05:20,080
And they don’t know that there’s
three people on the street going

82
00:05:20,080 –> 00:05:23,200
through the same thing, or 10
people in their church

83
00:05:23,200 –> 00:05:29,040
congregation.
They don’t know that they’re not

84
00:05:29,040 –> 00:05:33,200
alone in having this happen, but
it’s not something they talk

85
00:05:33,200 –> 00:05:35,440
about.
So how could they know?

86
00:05:36,400 –> 00:05:39,720
And eventually they isolate so
much that they withdraw from

87
00:05:39,720 –> 00:05:44,080
friends, even family members,
because of the judgment of a

88
00:05:44,080 –> 00:05:50,320
child that isn’t even accurate.
I know this because I was that

89
00:05:50,320 –> 00:05:54,880
child.
I know this because I was that

90
00:05:54,880 –> 00:06:00,440
mother.
And fortunately, I have been

91
00:06:00,440 –> 00:06:04,120
healed on both ends.
We have wonderful relationships

92
00:06:04,120 –> 00:06:06,960
now.
In fact, I talked to both of

93
00:06:06,960 –> 00:06:10,760
them almost every day.
You know, it’s interesting.

94
00:06:11,040 –> 00:06:13,480
Broken relationships can take
many forms.

95
00:06:13,480 –> 00:06:17,240
And while in the last
conversation, it was children

96
00:06:17,240 –> 00:06:21,520
who wanted to be connected with
their father and it just wasn’t

97
00:06:21,520 –> 00:06:24,360
happening for whatever reason,
you’re hitting this other

98
00:06:24,360 –> 00:06:26,520
element of it.
Parents who want to be in the

99
00:06:26,520 –> 00:06:28,840
lives of their kids, they want
to love their kids.

100
00:06:28,840 –> 00:06:32,000
They have been trying to love
them well, and then suddenly

101
00:06:32,000 –> 00:06:34,760
there is this disconnect.
And so, you know, you just

102
00:06:34,760 –> 00:06:38,520
shared that you have experienced
both sides of that.

103
00:06:38,840 –> 00:06:42,800
And so I’d love to hear a little
bit about that and in particular

104
00:06:43,520 –> 00:06:46,920
that must leave you with a
deeper insight than if you had

105
00:06:46,920 –> 00:06:50,560
just experienced one end of it.
I could go to school for 10

106
00:06:50,560 –> 00:06:53,840
years and not know what I know.
I’m dead serious, OK?

107
00:06:53,840 –> 00:06:56,320
I’ve learned the statistics.
I’ve learned the strategies.

108
00:06:56,320 –> 00:06:58,600
I’ve learned the modes of
treatment.

109
00:06:59,280 –> 00:07:05,520
What I could not have understood
is what it feels like and the

110
00:07:05,520 –> 00:07:08,840
joy that happens when you come
full circle when you get out of

111
00:07:08,840 –> 00:07:11,800
it.
I spent 20 years I didn’t full

112
00:07:11,800 –> 00:07:14,520
on reject, go no contact with my
parent.

113
00:07:15,520 –> 00:07:19,440
I went low contact.
I rejected them.

114
00:07:19,520 –> 00:07:22,800
I was cold towards them.
We talked on the phone a couple

115
00:07:22,800 –> 00:07:25,680
times a year.
We visited once every three

116
00:07:25,680 –> 00:07:28,480
years, every two years.
Maybe that’s how they grew up

117
00:07:28,480 –> 00:07:30,040
in.
The only reason we visited that

118
00:07:30,040 –> 00:07:32,280
much is ’cause I had, you know,
five children.

119
00:07:32,360 –> 00:07:33,920
They needed a grandparent in
their life.

120
00:07:34,760 –> 00:07:38,240
I felt that it wasn’t fair for
them to just have the one

121
00:07:38,240 –> 00:07:40,480
grandparent.
I wanted them to know my family

122
00:07:40,480 –> 00:07:44,560
as well.
But we were guarded and I had

123
00:07:44,760 –> 00:07:50,480
this experience where in my
mind, they became the villain.

124
00:07:50,680 –> 00:07:54,120
They became the person that had
caused me so much pain.

125
00:07:54,120 –> 00:07:58,000
I just looked up and moved my
light and I could see this

126
00:07:58,160 –> 00:08:01,840
smiling picture of my parents
and I love them both so very

127
00:08:01,840 –> 00:08:03,160
much.
I just want to put that out

128
00:08:03,160 –> 00:08:06,440
there.
But I was experiencing a great

129
00:08:06,440 –> 00:08:11,000
deal of pain and mental illness
and depression and during that

130
00:08:11,000 –> 00:08:15,800
time all of my pain centered on
one of my 2 parents.

131
00:08:16,960 –> 00:08:20,560
Did they ’cause that pain?
No Did I know that?

132
00:08:20,920 –> 00:08:24,160
No.
But people told me things.

133
00:08:24,760 –> 00:08:27,840
How this person had neglected
you your whole life, da da da.

134
00:08:27,840 –> 00:08:29,720
I emotionally rejected you, da
da da.

135
00:08:30,520 –> 00:08:32,120
And that’s what they observed
and believed.

136
00:08:32,960 –> 00:08:35,039
Was it true?
No.

137
00:08:36,080 –> 00:08:39,240
Is that all I could see?
Yes, because that’s what I

138
00:08:39,240 –> 00:08:42,320
looked for.
My expectations were that a

139
00:08:42,320 –> 00:08:48,880
loving mother or father would be
like XYZ, but a loving father or

140
00:08:48,880 –> 00:08:53,200
mother is not going to be XYZ.
They’re going to be who that

141
00:08:53,200 –> 00:08:55,680
person is to the best of their
ability.

142
00:08:56,480 –> 00:08:59,000
There’s these little things that
didn’t come into play towards

143
00:08:59,000 –> 00:09:00,600
parents.
And this is very much what’s

144
00:09:00,600 –> 00:09:05,200
happening because of a victim
mentality that we’ve adopted as

145
00:09:05,200 –> 00:09:09,120
a society and a culture.
And that is that we don’t allow

146
00:09:09,120 –> 00:09:14,320
grace or forgiveness or patience
for our parents.

147
00:09:15,080 –> 00:09:19,240
OK, that’s not entirely true, of
course, but to some degree we

148
00:09:19,240 –> 00:09:23,000
don’t allow that.
We don’t give them the benefit

149
00:09:23,000 –> 00:09:26,280
of the doubt.
You know, there are things as a

150
00:09:26,280 –> 00:09:29,040
parent that I went through that
my child didn’t know about.

151
00:09:30,040 –> 00:09:34,240
And so they decided to come at
me and vent all of their pain on

152
00:09:34,240 –> 00:09:36,920
me, just like I had focused all
of my pain.

153
00:09:37,400 –> 00:09:39,160
And that parent embodied that
pain.

154
00:09:40,320 –> 00:09:43,040
And so I rejected them.
And I had 20 years of

155
00:09:43,040 –> 00:09:46,840
nightmares.
OK, So this wasn’t just me being

156
00:09:46,840 –> 00:09:48,960
wrong.
This was me being wrong and

157
00:09:48,960 –> 00:09:51,160
suffering.
Did my parent make mistakes?

158
00:09:51,160 –> 00:09:53,560
Absolutely.
They’re human.

159
00:09:53,800 –> 00:09:55,240
They’re allowed to make
mistakes.

160
00:09:55,840 –> 00:09:58,480
You know, that’s my belief and
I’m sticking to it.

161
00:09:58,480 –> 00:10:01,880
But I learned so much more from
my mistakes than I do from the

162
00:10:01,880 –> 00:10:04,480
good.
But they weren’t allowed to make

163
00:10:04,480 –> 00:10:07,800
mistakes.
And I didn’t consider their

164
00:10:07,800 –> 00:10:11,760
background or where they came
from or what they were going

165
00:10:11,760 –> 00:10:14,560
through.
And they were so different than

166
00:10:14,560 –> 00:10:18,880
me, and I couldn’t grasp that
they needed to be like me if

167
00:10:18,880 –> 00:10:22,520
they were going to be a good
parent and see me and understand

168
00:10:22,520 –> 00:10:25,440
me and, you know, innately
connect with me.

169
00:10:26,280 –> 00:10:29,960
And it was so unrealistic, the
things that I was expecting.

170
00:10:30,960 –> 00:10:34,000
But when my child started to do
that, it was, you know, well, I

171
00:10:34,000 –> 00:10:36,040
have pressure at work.
Our marriage is going through a

172
00:10:36,040 –> 00:10:37,240
little bit of challenge right
now.

173
00:10:37,880 –> 00:10:40,080
We’re having some serious
financial issues.

174
00:10:40,240 –> 00:10:42,680
We’ve got this going on.
I’m worried about two of your

175
00:10:42,680 –> 00:10:46,440
siblings to an extreme.
And I’ve been ignoring you, you

176
00:10:46,440 –> 00:10:47,960
know.
So if all of those things are

177
00:10:47,960 –> 00:10:50,320
going on, my child isn’t going
to know about any of those

178
00:10:50,320 –> 00:10:52,840
things.
Or maybe even my faith is

179
00:10:52,840 –> 00:10:57,080
faltering a little.
What is happening is my child

180
00:10:57,080 –> 00:11:01,840
will not know, but my child will
experience their end of the

181
00:11:01,840 –> 00:11:05,320
situation, and they will
experience it from their

182
00:11:05,320 –> 00:11:07,880
perspective.
Is that truth?

183
00:11:08,640 –> 00:11:12,800
No, and they can call it their
truth, but truth to me is

184
00:11:12,800 –> 00:11:16,080
absolute.
Only God sees the truth.

185
00:11:16,440 –> 00:11:21,400
Only God sees the big picture.
And we need to accept that and

186
00:11:21,520 –> 00:11:23,720
ask for His guidance in all of
these things.

187
00:11:24,280 –> 00:11:28,120
Because once that person told me
a person I trusted, and then

188
00:11:28,120 –> 00:11:29,760
someone else made a similar
comment.

189
00:11:30,240 –> 00:11:33,040
When those people started
telling me about the things that

190
00:11:33,040 –> 00:11:38,000
my parent had done wrong, it was
like I couldn’t Unsee it, except

191
00:11:38,040 –> 00:11:41,000
I could have.
What happened was I started

192
00:11:41,000 –> 00:11:44,800
looking for evidence of that,
and when I did, I found it all

193
00:11:44,800 –> 00:11:47,600
over the place.
That’s what kids do.

194
00:11:48,120 –> 00:11:50,480
But then this is what the
parents or the grandparents do.

195
00:11:51,600 –> 00:11:55,720
I was a good mother and they go
back through their memories and

196
00:11:55,720 –> 00:11:58,560
what are they looking for?
The evidence that they were a

197
00:11:58,560 –> 00:12:01,080
good mother or a grandmother or
you know what I mean?

198
00:12:02,000 –> 00:12:07,240
So when we do that, what we’re
doing is we are developing our

199
00:12:07,240 –> 00:12:10,040
own bias.
We’re looking through our lives

200
00:12:10,040 –> 00:12:14,560
and seeing all the good from
that perspective, and we are not

201
00:12:14,800 –> 00:12:18,440
seeing the full picture.
Now, there’s a reason for that,

202
00:12:18,440 –> 00:12:20,600
and I know this isn’t
necessarily where you want it to

203
00:12:20,600 –> 00:12:22,360
go, but I think it’s so
important.

204
00:12:22,360 –> 00:12:25,520
I attempted to write a book
called A Brain Owner’s User

205
00:12:25,520 –> 00:12:28,080
Manual.
There’s a part in the back of

206
00:12:28,080 –> 00:12:33,680
our brain, the basal ganglia,
and at any given moment you have

207
00:12:33,680 –> 00:12:36,760
about 2 million stimuli around
you.

208
00:12:37,680 –> 00:12:39,480
Your brain is going to pick some
of those.

209
00:12:40,160 –> 00:12:43,120
Now there’s a bias in you that
will choose which ones to pick,

210
00:12:43,880 –> 00:12:47,080
and you’re going to see about
134,000 out of 2,000,000.

211
00:12:48,120 –> 00:12:51,400
Now, if I’m sitting right next
to you, Paul, in the same room

212
00:12:51,880 –> 00:12:55,240
and we’ve grown up together and
experienced the same things, we

213
00:12:55,240 –> 00:12:58,920
might have an entirely different
response because our brain might

214
00:12:58,920 –> 00:13:03,440
be looking for different things.
I might experience 150,000

215
00:13:03,440 –> 00:13:06,480
things that are entirely
different than yours or slight

216
00:13:06,480 –> 00:13:10,360
overlapping.
Because of that, we will all

217
00:13:10,440 –> 00:13:14,240
have a different story, a
different bias, and a different

218
00:13:14,240 –> 00:13:17,400
perspective.
So if there are moms or dads out

219
00:13:17,400 –> 00:13:21,080
there listening right now and
you’ve been accused by your

220
00:13:21,080 –> 00:13:26,200
child or grandchild of being
abusive, causing trauma, being

221
00:13:26,200 –> 00:13:30,000
narcissist, etcetera, there may
have been moments where you’ve

222
00:13:30,000 –> 00:13:32,560
had narcissistic behavior.
Perhaps you do have mental

223
00:13:32,560 –> 00:13:37,280
illness, but most likely many or
most of the things that they’re

224
00:13:37,280 –> 00:13:39,200
talking about are not the full
picture.

225
00:13:40,360 –> 00:13:43,800
That doesn’t mean they have
changed the story or changed the

226
00:13:43,800 –> 00:13:47,080
truth.
It means that they experienced

227
00:13:47,080 –> 00:13:51,280
something different in the time
and now are remembering things

228
00:13:51,280 –> 00:13:54,520
differently.
And thoughts user manual Here we

229
00:13:54,520 –> 00:13:58,040
go.
Thoughts are not facts.

230
00:14:00,840 –> 00:14:05,440
And more importantly than those
thoughts not being facts, our

231
00:14:05,440 –> 00:14:11,720
feelings are not our truth.
Our feelings are chemicals that

232
00:14:11,720 –> 00:14:15,560
are going to pass.
Now we know the fruits of the

233
00:14:15,560 –> 00:14:19,360
Spirit are peace, joy, love.
Those sound to me like feelings.

234
00:14:20,560 –> 00:14:23,640
They are.
But that is different than if

235
00:14:23,640 –> 00:14:28,000
we’re searching our own
experience for our own truth and

236
00:14:28,400 –> 00:14:31,880
looking with a bias and then
establishing that that is the

237
00:14:32,080 –> 00:14:35,560
full truth and completely rock
solid and can’t be shifted.

238
00:14:36,600 –> 00:14:38,720
You know what’s interesting
about bringing up the fruits of

239
00:14:38,720 –> 00:14:41,560
the Spirit?
Like you said, they sound like

240
00:14:41,720 –> 00:14:46,920
the feelings that we carry, but
the big difference is those

241
00:14:46,920 –> 00:14:49,840
fruits of the spirit are
actually based off of truth.

242
00:14:50,120 –> 00:14:53,840
And what you noted is so often
our feelings are based off of

243
00:14:54,120 –> 00:14:57,040
perception or interpretation of
our perception.

244
00:14:57,600 –> 00:15:02,040
This is what’s so hard in these
scenarios is we treat reality in

245
00:15:02,040 –> 00:15:04,800
a very binary way.
What is good and bad, what is

246
00:15:04,800 –> 00:15:08,280
right and wrong.
But as you shared, it is far

247
00:15:08,280 –> 00:15:11,000
more nuanced and complicated
than that.

248
00:15:11,800 –> 00:15:15,240
The first part is our brains
aren’t even fully developed

249
00:15:15,240 –> 00:15:17,320
until age 24 or.
So.

250
00:15:17,840 –> 00:15:20,160
Right.
And so our ability to understand

251
00:15:20,160 –> 00:15:22,600
and know what to do with the
information we’re receiving is

252
00:15:22,720 –> 00:15:25,480
limited by default into our
brain is fully developed.

253
00:15:25,840 –> 00:15:29,960
Even when it’s fully developed,
you noted the reality of mental

254
00:15:29,960 –> 00:15:35,480
health challenges, of trauma, of
manipulation, of gas, like

255
00:15:35,480 –> 00:15:38,440
there’s all these things that
then can impact something we

256
00:15:38,440 –> 00:15:42,560
think is black and white truth,
when in reality, it’s what you

257
00:15:42,560 –> 00:15:47,080
noted, that it’s our perception
and interpretation of the

258
00:15:47,080 –> 00:15:51,200
information before us.
And what’s so sad in these

259
00:15:51,200 –> 00:15:56,640
moments is that often what we
find is when presented with the

260
00:15:56,640 –> 00:16:01,560
opportunity for genuine
connection, what we might often

261
00:16:01,720 –> 00:16:07,680
be pursuing is validation or
preservation or reputation,

262
00:16:07,800 –> 00:16:10,720
right?
And so in this reality, where

263
00:16:10,880 –> 00:16:15,520
there is a firm truth but it can
be so hard for us to access it

264
00:16:15,520 –> 00:16:20,200
or even trust it, what can help
us to understand the importance

265
00:16:20,200 –> 00:16:24,560
of connection when we might want
validation or preservation

266
00:16:24,560 –> 00:16:27,480
instead?
And what can we do to pursue

267
00:16:27,480 –> 00:16:31,320
connection when the facts seem
to be saying the opposite of

268
00:16:31,320 –> 00:16:33,200
what’s actually true?
OK.

269
00:16:34,320 –> 00:16:38,480
If we are looking at a
circumstance that’s going on and

270
00:16:38,480 –> 00:16:42,720
we are reading it a certain way
and then we interpret what we’ve

271
00:16:42,720 –> 00:16:46,760
read a certain way, we might be
out in left field.

272
00:16:47,840 –> 00:16:51,600
The way we can find that out,
the only way to find out

273
00:16:51,600 –> 00:16:55,120
absolute truth is from God.
Obviously scientific method

274
00:16:55,120 –> 00:16:58,920
works to get there, but God
knows so much more about science

275
00:16:58,920 –> 00:17:00,680
and things that we can even
comprehend.

276
00:17:01,160 –> 00:17:04,200
We look at the size of the
universe down to, you know,

277
00:17:04,200 –> 00:17:07,040
quarks and whatever sub nuclear
things.

278
00:17:07,280 –> 00:17:10,839
Subatomic particles.
Well, I think they’ve discovered

279
00:17:10,839 –> 00:17:13,240
that there are things smaller
than subatomic particles.

280
00:17:13,599 –> 00:17:17,400
Well, of course, you know, I
feel like it’s got to go farther

281
00:17:17,400 –> 00:17:20,880
and farther and farther down.
But that’s my belief.

282
00:17:20,880 –> 00:17:23,520
My dad’s a scientist.
He worked as a physicist for

283
00:17:23,520 –> 00:17:26,680
many years with lasers and
particle measurement back in the

284
00:17:26,680 –> 00:17:30,640
70s.
I believe that we get so caught

285
00:17:30,640 –> 00:17:34,080
up in believing what we want to
believe because it’s what we’re

286
00:17:34,080 –> 00:17:37,400
looking for, because we focus on
ourselves.

287
00:17:38,400 –> 00:17:41,640
I think the only way to find
that absolute truth is to focus

288
00:17:41,640 –> 00:17:44,520
on God.
You know, you asked what do

289
00:17:44,520 –> 00:17:46,800
people need to know about me?
And I said I’m a daughter of

290
00:17:46,800 –> 00:17:48,720
God.
OK, that’s true.

291
00:17:48,960 –> 00:17:50,280
They don’t need to know anything
else.

292
00:17:50,280 –> 00:17:53,520
Yes, I’m a mom of five kids.
Yes, I’m 59 years old.

293
00:17:54,080 –> 00:17:59,200
Yes, I have spoken on three
continents and I’m a speaker and

294
00:17:59,200 –> 00:18:02,800
a coach and I have a course, but
that’s not what matters.

295
00:18:02,800 –> 00:18:06,000
I’ve been a missionary.
I spent a semester abroad in

296
00:18:06,000 –> 00:18:09,720
College in studying the Bible in
Jerusalem and in the surrounding

297
00:18:09,720 –> 00:18:11,480
area.
Oh, it was such a privilege.

298
00:18:12,800 –> 00:18:16,000
None of that matters.
I am a daughter of God and that

299
00:18:16,000 –> 00:18:18,640
is my core identity and that is
what I teach.

300
00:18:19,240 –> 00:18:22,440
That’s the first thing people
need to learn because if you

301
00:18:22,440 –> 00:18:27,320
learn that and you’re plugged
into that, you have access to

302
00:18:27,320 –> 00:18:30,040
the truth, the big picture, the
support, the strength,

303
00:18:30,080 –> 00:18:33,440
everything.
Here’s what I do with my mom’s.

304
00:18:34,240 –> 00:18:36,600
They’ve been cut off, they’ve
been rejected.

305
00:18:36,960 –> 00:18:40,760
It’s like getting divorced, but
not only not by choice, but you

306
00:18:40,760 –> 00:18:43,960
weren’t even told and you’re
never told why.

307
00:18:44,840 –> 00:18:46,720
And the kids have a general idea
why.

308
00:18:46,720 –> 00:18:50,240
And when they fill in a multiple
choice survey, they can tell you

309
00:18:50,400 –> 00:18:52,960
why.
But that’s a multiple choice

310
00:18:52,960 –> 00:18:56,440
survey.
It’s not a fill in the blank.

311
00:18:56,480 –> 00:18:58,720
Why?
Because they can’t answer that

312
00:18:58,720 –> 00:19:03,000
sometimes.
Well, if that’s the case, then

313
00:19:03,440 –> 00:19:07,120
many of these young people are
combining pain with what

314
00:19:07,120 –> 00:19:11,320
actually happened and combining
experiences with what actually

315
00:19:11,320 –> 00:19:15,440
happened, and they’re not
allowing for the bigger picture

316
00:19:15,560 –> 00:19:19,640
of what else was going on.
Many of these young people do

317
00:19:19,640 –> 00:19:23,720
experience mental illness,
depression, anxiety, some of

318
00:19:23,720 –> 00:19:28,280
them are in addiction or
alcoholism, and that’s why they

319
00:19:28,280 –> 00:19:31,840
become estranged.
But the reason why is because

320
00:19:32,320 –> 00:19:36,560
when these people go through
this experience, which is

321
00:19:36,560 –> 00:19:41,520
extremely traumatic for them,
whether it had just cause or

322
00:19:41,520 –> 00:19:44,640
not, they are suffering.
It is real suffering.

323
00:19:45,520 –> 00:19:49,120
When you reject a parent, it’s
because you feel like that’s the

324
00:19:49,120 –> 00:19:52,280
only way forward.
And that takes a lot of pain.

325
00:19:53,160 –> 00:19:57,040
And I know I’ve been there.
I lived there, I raised my kids

326
00:19:57,040 –> 00:20:00,240
there.
It’s a lot.

327
00:20:01,200 –> 00:20:06,080
But my parents are in their 80s.
What I would give to go back and

328
00:20:06,080 –> 00:20:11,240
have that time back.
I can’t have it, but I didn’t

329
00:20:11,240 –> 00:20:13,680
have the clear picture and I
wasn’t ready to see it.

330
00:20:14,600 –> 00:20:17,880
And that is why I teach these
women that they need to

331
00:20:17,880 –> 00:20:20,000
understand their identity as a
child of God.

332
00:20:20,960 –> 00:20:24,840
Because if your identity is a
mother and that’s what it

333
00:20:24,840 –> 00:20:27,240
becomes naturally and
automatically.

334
00:20:27,240 –> 00:20:32,320
I I have a daughter who had a
baby a few weeks ago and she’s

335
00:20:32,320 –> 00:20:36,320
going through the incredible
joy, but also the sleeplessness,

336
00:20:36,320 –> 00:20:39,600
the recovering from the
delivery, so many things in

337
00:20:39,600 –> 00:20:42,280
transitions and it’s all
consuming.

338
00:20:43,360 –> 00:20:46,120
When they start smiling and
eventually laughing, all that

339
00:20:46,200 –> 00:20:47,800
takes everything to the next
level.

340
00:20:49,080 –> 00:20:52,640
But what happens is when you go
through something like that,

341
00:20:52,640 –> 00:20:55,960
your identity shifts from
daughter of God to a mother

342
00:20:56,400 –> 00:20:58,360
who’s a wife who’s a daughter of
God.

343
00:20:59,440 –> 00:21:01,880
What matters is how we see
ourselves.

344
00:21:02,320 –> 00:21:05,760
And if you see yourself at your
core as a daughter of God, then

345
00:21:05,760 –> 00:21:08,920
when your child rejects you,
you’re not the mother who is

346
00:21:08,920 –> 00:21:14,320
suddenly completely destroyed.
You are a daughter of God who

347
00:21:14,320 –> 00:21:17,840
was rejected in one role by one
child.

348
00:21:18,520 –> 00:21:21,160
But if you are a mother and
you’re rejected, that means

349
00:21:21,400 –> 00:21:24,440
well, you’ve failed at the one
thing of at who you are.

350
00:21:25,200 –> 00:21:27,000
Well, who you are is not a
mother.

351
00:21:27,040 –> 00:21:29,840
Who you are is a daughter of God
who is a mother.

352
00:21:31,240 –> 00:21:36,000
And when you have your identity
in place, and I don’t mean in

353
00:21:36,000 –> 00:21:38,200
your head, because it’s really
easy to get it in your head,

354
00:21:38,200 –> 00:21:40,360
it’s really hard to get it
internalized.

355
00:21:40,640 –> 00:21:45,480
If you internalize that identity
and really get it in your heart,

356
00:21:45,960 –> 00:21:49,960
then your choices and your
perspective of everything around

357
00:21:49,960 –> 00:21:54,920
you changes dramatically.
Who you want to become, how you

358
00:21:54,920 –> 00:21:57,920
live, how you see the world, it
all shifts.

359
00:21:58,560 –> 00:22:02,320
And when your child rejects you,
yes, you feel grief.

360
00:22:02,320 –> 00:22:06,480
It’s real, but it’s in
perspective.

361
00:22:07,200 –> 00:22:12,040
You see, you can feel grief and
joy and peace at the same time.

362
00:22:12,640 –> 00:22:16,960
Joy and peace can happen
anytime, and I experienced that

363
00:22:16,960 –> 00:22:20,080
after someone very close to me
died a few years ago.

364
00:22:20,560 –> 00:22:25,480
I experienced that when my child
cut me off.

365
00:22:26,360 –> 00:22:32,000
I had that undercurrent of joy
and peace and an eternal

366
00:22:32,000 –> 00:22:36,840
perspective that kept me going
when my child cut me off.

367
00:22:37,360 –> 00:22:40,000
And at that point, it wasn’t a
one and done deal.

368
00:22:40,000 –> 00:22:44,800
It was more than once.
And I made all the mistakes I

369
00:22:44,800 –> 00:22:50,600
did and I learned from them.
And then I had a really cool

370
00:22:50,600 –> 00:22:53,880
experience.
I was angry for the first two

371
00:22:53,880 –> 00:22:56,840
days.
Oh, I was so angry now.

372
00:22:56,840 –> 00:22:59,440
I knew in my mind that I was
right.

373
00:23:00,720 –> 00:23:04,480
I knew in my mind that I was
doing what God wanted me to do

374
00:23:04,800 –> 00:23:09,720
in different things.
I just needed to go forward and

375
00:23:09,720 –> 00:23:12,720
basically they would get better
or they wouldn’t.

376
00:23:14,080 –> 00:23:19,200
What happened was two days in,
I’m walking down the hallway

377
00:23:19,200 –> 00:23:22,640
upstairs to the guest room where
they were staying when they left

378
00:23:24,120 –> 00:23:28,000
and a toy had been left behind
and I picked it up from behind

379
00:23:28,000 –> 00:23:31,400
the door jamb.
And all the memories and

380
00:23:31,400 –> 00:23:34,680
emotions of playing with my
young grandchildren with that

381
00:23:34,680 –> 00:23:38,080
particular toy over the years
flooded me.

382
00:23:38,840 –> 00:23:45,280
And all of that love and all of
that sweet innocence gone from

383
00:23:45,280 –> 00:23:50,920
my life.
And I knew I would have them in

384
00:23:50,920 –> 00:24:00,120
the eternities and I might have
them when they’re adults, but I

385
00:24:00,120 –> 00:24:03,880
started to cry uncontrollably.
And I’ve never cried like that.

386
00:24:05,840 –> 00:24:09,760
And there were just, it was so
painful.

387
00:24:12,000 –> 00:24:16,320
And in that moment, I just
didn’t know how I could do this.

388
00:24:17,640 –> 00:24:24,680
And I prayed and I fasted for
three days to try to be strong

389
00:24:24,680 –> 00:24:28,720
for this and get through it.
I wanted God to take the pain

390
00:24:28,720 –> 00:24:32,360
and carry it for me.
I believe He took our pains on

391
00:24:32,360 –> 00:24:35,480
Him on the cross because He came
to heal the broken hearted.

392
00:24:37,480 –> 00:24:41,480
And so I prayed and I asked if
He would carry this pain for me.

393
00:24:41,480 –> 00:24:45,640
I didn’t know if I could do it.
And from that very moment He

394
00:24:45,640 –> 00:24:50,680
took it from me.
And from that moment on, it was

395
00:24:51,080 –> 00:24:55,960
as painful as Thursday at 10.
AMI have a check up at the

396
00:24:55,960 –> 00:24:58,640
doctor Tuesday.
We’re having me out for dinner

397
00:24:58,640 –> 00:25:00,320
instead of Taco Tuesday this
week.

398
00:25:01,640 –> 00:25:04,040
It just wasn’t painful.
It was just a fact.

399
00:25:05,160 –> 00:25:08,160
I mean, I’m gone.
It was so remarkable.

400
00:25:08,160 –> 00:25:11,000
I’ve seen many miracles in my
life, but I’ve seen none more

401
00:25:11,000 –> 00:25:14,040
dramatic than that one.
I’ve felt nothing more dramatic

402
00:25:14,040 –> 00:25:16,800
than that.
There just are no words to

403
00:25:16,800 –> 00:25:22,640
describe how intense my pain was
and how intense my relief was.

404
00:25:24,560 –> 00:25:28,240
And so I was able to focus on me
and on building up my business

405
00:25:28,440 –> 00:25:32,440
and serving people through that
because I wanted to minister to

406
00:25:32,440 –> 00:25:37,560
other moms who had been through
this and help women have a

407
00:25:37,560 –> 00:25:42,640
deeper walk with Christ.
And it was at that point that I

408
00:25:42,640 –> 00:25:46,440
shifted my focus from helping
Christian women be stronger to

409
00:25:46,720 –> 00:25:51,880
working with the strange moms.
And my relationship returned.

410
00:25:53,200 –> 00:25:54,800
Because here’s the important
thing.

411
00:25:54,800 –> 00:25:59,720
If you’re going through this,
you need to know God has you in

412
00:25:59,720 –> 00:26:03,240
their hands and he has your
child in his hands.

413
00:26:04,320 –> 00:26:06,040
And if you are that millennial
or Gen.

414
00:26:06,040 –> 00:26:09,360
Z child was cut off their
parent, know this.

415
00:26:09,800 –> 00:26:13,280
The God has you in their hands
and he has your parent in their

416
00:26:13,280 –> 00:26:15,720
hands.
And you may not know the full

417
00:26:15,880 –> 00:26:21,040
story behind whatever you
experienced was going on, but

418
00:26:21,040 –> 00:26:26,080
God does.
So if you are that parent, trust

419
00:26:26,080 –> 00:26:30,120
your child to God and then do
what you can do, which is to

420
00:26:30,120 –> 00:26:36,520
work on yourself.
If your child rejected you, they

421
00:26:36,520 –> 00:26:40,840
rejected who you were.
I’m not saying you’re a bad

422
00:26:40,840 –> 00:26:46,600
person or a bad parent, but what
can you do to become a better

423
00:26:46,600 –> 00:26:50,240
parent and be better prepared
for them to return?

424
00:26:51,320 –> 00:26:56,600
That is the focus that I work on
because there’s so much

425
00:26:56,600 –> 00:26:59,480
happiness out there and I want
everyone to have it.

426
00:26:59,920 –> 00:27:03,920
I hope we all win, but we won’t
win it as individuals.

427
00:27:03,920 –> 00:27:09,160
We will win it as families.
Families are given by God, I

428
00:27:09,160 –> 00:27:13,720
believe, to help us lift each
other and to learn because we

429
00:27:13,720 –> 00:27:16,800
feel safe with our family.
We make all the mistakes at home

430
00:27:16,800 –> 00:27:20,680
that we don’t in other places.
It’s where we’re cruelest to

431
00:27:20,680 –> 00:27:24,400
each other and it’s also where
we learn the most.

432
00:27:25,240 –> 00:27:27,720
Blood is thicker than water was
the phrase that we were all

433
00:27:27,720 –> 00:27:31,360
taught in Gen.
X and and Boomers and that you

434
00:27:31,360 –> 00:27:33,800
know, you might not like your
child, but you’d give your

435
00:27:33,800 –> 00:27:36,520
kidney for him, right.
I’m I’m joking about the not

436
00:27:36,520 –> 00:27:40,400
liking your child, but that was
any family member, a sibling, a

437
00:27:40,400 –> 00:27:43,000
cousin that you just you do
things for family.

438
00:27:43,000 –> 00:27:45,160
You’re there for them.
You show up when they need you.

439
00:27:46,280 –> 00:27:50,440
And that doesn’t mean everyone
does and people make mistakes.

440
00:27:50,600 –> 00:27:53,600
But that’s the ideal that we
were raised with is family

441
00:27:53,600 –> 00:27:56,640
first.
I heard something yesterday that

442
00:27:56,640 –> 00:28:00,720
cracked me up.
And it just, to me, typifies the

443
00:28:00,720 –> 00:28:05,440
difference between Gen.
X and Boomers and the younger

444
00:28:05,440 –> 00:28:08,040
generations.
You know, if you want to know

445
00:28:08,120 –> 00:28:11,560
why we are the way we are,
here’s a typical experience.

446
00:28:11,560 –> 00:28:15,240
When we were in school, they
told us all about NASA.

447
00:28:15,240 –> 00:28:18,040
They told us about the exciting
new space launch coming up.

448
00:28:18,760 –> 00:28:21,360
They wheeled the TV’s into our
classrooms.

449
00:28:22,080 –> 00:28:25,640
The spacecraft launched.
It blew up.

450
00:28:27,000 –> 00:28:29,480
They turned off the TV’s, they
wheeled them out of the

451
00:28:29,480 –> 00:28:31,800
classrooms and we went on to our
next subject.

452
00:28:34,040 –> 00:28:40,520
No hugs, no counseling, and that
was just how we were raised.

453
00:28:40,600 –> 00:28:43,240
Things just happened and you
just dealt with it and moved on.

454
00:28:45,160 –> 00:28:48,280
Life wasn’t easy for boomers
especially.

455
00:28:48,760 –> 00:28:53,320
They grew up in a much more
difficult time in the sense of

456
00:28:53,320 –> 00:28:56,960
abuse and things.
You know, what we call abuse

457
00:28:57,760 –> 00:29:01,640
wasn’t even Tuesday.
That was just, you know, every

458
00:29:01,640 –> 00:29:03,800
day.
It was whatever, just a very

459
00:29:03,800 –> 00:29:07,840
different explanation.
And with that, we don’t

460
00:29:07,840 –> 00:29:11,800
understand when our children
tell us that we were abusive or

461
00:29:11,800 –> 00:29:16,240
that they experienced trauma
from us because the definitions

462
00:29:16,240 –> 00:29:22,120
have changed so dramatically.
You know, you noted something

463
00:29:22,120 –> 00:29:26,200
really important and how you
have been pressing into this

464
00:29:26,200 –> 00:29:28,520
idea of what is our core
identity.

465
00:29:29,000 –> 00:29:31,880
And for you, your core identity
is a daughter of God.

466
00:29:32,360 –> 00:29:35,600
You are also a mother.
You’re not discounting that.

467
00:29:36,120 –> 00:29:42,440
But that core identity of being
a daughter of God is so core, so

468
00:29:42,440 –> 00:29:46,200
important, that it is over top
of anything.

469
00:29:46,200 –> 00:29:49,680
Else of course it should be.
And it makes me think of a

470
00:29:49,680 –> 00:29:53,280
passage that is often hard for
people, understandably so,

471
00:29:53,280 –> 00:29:57,160
because it seems counter to what
Jesus said he believed.

472
00:29:57,160 –> 00:30:03,280
But Jesus invites us to hate
your father and your mother and

473
00:30:03,280 –> 00:30:07,440
your son and your daughter.
And Jesus is not condoning

474
00:30:07,440 –> 00:30:10,160
hatred or he is not trying to
break up the family.

475
00:30:10,160 –> 00:30:15,680
But what he understands is what
we’re saying here, that the way

476
00:30:15,680 –> 00:30:18,840
Scripture puts it is seek first
the Kingdom of God and his

477
00:30:18,840 –> 00:30:20,880
righteousness and all these
things will follow.

478
00:30:21,600 –> 00:30:24,840
Because as you noted, if our
primary identity is as that

479
00:30:24,840 –> 00:30:29,760
parent, then it is hard when we
might invest in a child and then

480
00:30:30,000 –> 00:30:33,600
they reject us and suddenly
we’ve lost our identity and

481
00:30:33,600 –> 00:30:36,200
we’re questioning how did this
happen?

482
00:30:36,200 –> 00:30:39,520
And was I not actually a good
parent or were they not a good

483
00:30:39,520 –> 00:30:41,800
child or?
And then the shame comes in and

484
00:30:41,800 –> 00:30:43,480
this cycle.
But you have no idea.

485
00:30:43,680 –> 00:30:47,680
And what you’ve described is
that by understanding our core

486
00:30:47,680 –> 00:30:53,880
identity as loved by God, cared
for by God, then he can do the

487
00:30:53,880 –> 00:30:55,840
unexpected.
You talked about peace coming

488
00:30:55,840 –> 00:30:58,280
when it shouldn’t have come.
There’s a verse that says a

489
00:30:58,280 –> 00:31:01,440
peace that defies understanding.
In other words, it shouldn’t

490
00:31:01,440 –> 00:31:03,920
exist.
And yet God, who created all

491
00:31:03,920 –> 00:31:07,280
things, is able to bring peace
in the most unexpected of

492
00:31:07,280 –> 00:31:11,520
situations.
So let’s say somebody is hearing

493
00:31:11,520 –> 00:31:16,160
this, but it is hard for them to
understand their identity in

494
00:31:16,160 –> 00:31:17,720
God.
It is hard for them to believe

495
00:31:17,720 –> 00:31:20,640
they are loved by God, that they
are a child of God.

496
00:31:21,360 –> 00:31:25,520
What are some simple ways
somebody can come to embrace

497
00:31:25,680 –> 00:31:28,360
this, what you have called a
core truth?

498
00:31:28,720 –> 00:31:30,960
Well, call me would be the
simplest.

499
00:31:31,560 –> 00:31:34,560
I have a course that does just
this specific thing.

500
00:31:34,800 –> 00:31:39,240
Because it is so elemental, it
is so basic, it has to be in

501
00:31:39,240 –> 00:31:42,280
place.
It is the most important thing

502
00:31:42,280 –> 00:31:46,320
you will ever do.
No second most, but it prepares

503
00:31:46,320 –> 00:31:51,480
you for the first most.
And that is that if you can have

504
00:31:51,480 –> 00:31:57,480
that identity internalized in
your heart, then everything else

505
00:31:57,480 –> 00:32:00,320
is going to go off your back,
you know, slide right off.

506
00:32:01,040 –> 00:32:05,160
If you are the mother and your
child rejects you, this isn’t

507
00:32:05,240 –> 00:32:07,640
something that changes your
identity.

508
00:32:07,720 –> 00:32:12,080
This destroys your identity.
I can assure you this is not

509
00:32:12,080 –> 00:32:14,240
little.
This destroys who you are.

510
00:32:14,840 –> 00:32:19,360
And most of us are mothers who
are Christians, whether we

511
00:32:19,360 –> 00:32:22,640
recognize it or not.
But for those that are

512
00:32:22,640 –> 00:32:28,280
Christians who are mothers, we
understand that our child’s

513
00:32:28,280 –> 00:32:30,280
opinion of us does not define
our worth.

514
00:32:30,920 –> 00:32:33,400
And for all of you that are
listening, remember this.

515
00:32:34,000 –> 00:32:39,440
Your child’s opinion of you does
not define who you are or what

516
00:32:39,440 –> 00:32:42,240
you are.
That was defined on a cross.

517
00:32:43,880 –> 00:32:48,320
That was defined with three
nails and a weight beyond

518
00:32:48,760 –> 00:32:53,120
compare of all of your sins in
one moment.

519
00:32:54,280 –> 00:32:56,600
And he didn’t take a neat
package of guilt.

520
00:32:56,800 –> 00:32:59,760
He took your sins.
You know it.

521
00:32:59,760 –> 00:33:01,400
It never says it was neat and
tidy.

522
00:33:02,240 –> 00:33:05,800
I believe that he experienced
what it was to go through all of

523
00:33:05,800 –> 00:33:10,200
those sins in that moment, which
is so far beyond what we can

524
00:33:10,200 –> 00:33:16,040
possibly understand, that peace
which passes all understanding.

525
00:33:16,240 –> 00:33:18,920
I’ve felt it, and you probably
have as well, Paul.

526
00:33:19,560 –> 00:33:23,000
But what it does is it doesn’t
pass all understanding, in my

527
00:33:23,000 –> 00:33:27,120
opinion, because it shouldn’t
exist, but because it’s beyond

528
00:33:27,120 –> 00:33:30,840
what a human can comprehend
until they’ve experienced it.

529
00:33:31,920 –> 00:33:35,640
And that piece is worth
striving.

530
00:33:35,640 –> 00:33:37,280
It’s it’s the Pearl of great
price.

531
00:33:37,280 –> 00:33:41,000
It’s the leave the world behind
because nothing compares to this

532
00:33:42,000 –> 00:33:45,520
nothing.
And the beauty of it is this,

533
00:33:45,520 –> 00:33:49,600
when your identity is in place,
whether you’re a Gen.

534
00:33:49,600 –> 00:33:53,600
Z or Millennial or somebody
who’s been estranged by their

535
00:33:53,600 –> 00:33:58,360
adult child, here’s what is so
wonderful.

536
00:33:59,120 –> 00:34:03,480
When you get that identity in
place, you are going to begin to

537
00:34:03,480 –> 00:34:05,320
feel that peace and that
strength.

538
00:34:05,960 –> 00:34:10,320
And it puts in perspective what
has happened instead of I’m

539
00:34:10,320 –> 00:34:15,199
destroyed by my child’s act.
I’m not defined by my child or

540
00:34:15,199 –> 00:34:19,760
their acts or their opinions.
I am going to live my life to

541
00:34:19,760 –> 00:34:22,960
the best of my ability going
forward, with or without them.

542
00:34:24,440 –> 00:34:27,880
I am sustained by God because I
am trying to do God’s work and

543
00:34:27,880 –> 00:34:31,560
God’s will in my life.
Put God at the center of your

544
00:34:31,560 –> 00:34:33,560
life and everything else falls
into place.

545
00:34:33,639 –> 00:34:36,480
It makes you a better mother.
It makes you a better wife,

546
00:34:36,480 –> 00:34:42,120
better father, better husband,
son, daughter, cousin, employee,

547
00:34:42,639 –> 00:34:45,440
business owner.
It does all of those things.

548
00:34:45,800 –> 00:34:51,440
And so it’s crucial to have the
love of God first in our hearts.

549
00:34:52,840 –> 00:34:57,640
I’ve experienced it.
I’m not always there, I’m human,

550
00:34:58,240 –> 00:35:02,160
but it’s certainly my goal.
And more importantly, because we

551
00:35:02,160 –> 00:35:06,320
don’t always reach our
aspirations, but we fall instead

552
00:35:06,360 –> 00:35:10,800
to our systems and our habits.
What habits do you have?

553
00:35:10,840 –> 00:35:12,440
What systems do you have in
place?

554
00:35:12,640 –> 00:35:16,280
How do you live your life?
You know, if you’re going out

555
00:35:16,280 –> 00:35:19,760
and partying all weekend, what’s
going to happen Monday morning

556
00:35:19,760 –> 00:35:22,840
as an employee?
Are you going to live a godly

557
00:35:22,840 –> 00:35:24,760
life or are you going to be
hungover?

558
00:35:25,520 –> 00:35:28,800
Are you going to be thinking
back on what happened over the

559
00:35:28,800 –> 00:35:32,920
weekend and regretting it and
then you do it again the next

560
00:35:32,920 –> 00:35:35,040
weekend?
That’s just not going to bring

561
00:35:35,040 –> 00:35:37,400
you happiness.
It’s not.

562
00:35:39,400 –> 00:35:41,960
Are you reading the Bible?
Are you praying?

563
00:35:42,160 –> 00:35:44,000
You asked for little tips.
These are the tips.

564
00:35:44,280 –> 00:35:47,360
Read the Bible daily.
Don’t hear it from someone else.

565
00:35:47,760 –> 00:35:49,960
Don’t read someone else’s
studies on the Bible.

566
00:35:50,320 –> 00:35:54,560
You can do those also read
directly from the Bible, and the

567
00:35:54,560 –> 00:35:57,200
Holy Spirit can help you
understand as you pray.

568
00:35:58,080 –> 00:36:00,000
But here’s what’s really
important about it.

569
00:36:00,600 –> 00:36:03,360
If you’re only reading it
through other people, you’re

570
00:36:03,360 –> 00:36:06,400
going to read their
interpretation of it, which may

571
00:36:06,400 –> 00:36:08,200
or may not be God’s
interpretation of it.

572
00:36:08,920 –> 00:36:12,520
You need to learn to go to the
Bible on your own to ask God for

573
00:36:12,520 –> 00:36:16,280
help.
And when you pray, don’t give

574
00:36:16,280 –> 00:36:18,440
him a list of all the things you
want.

575
00:36:19,840 –> 00:36:22,680
Do that sometimes, but this is
not a shopping list.

576
00:36:23,680 –> 00:36:27,600
Go to God and thank Him for all
the things you have.

577
00:36:28,520 –> 00:36:33,360
He knows what you need and you
what you need may not line up

578
00:36:33,360 –> 00:36:39,600
with what you want.
So go to God in gratitude for

579
00:36:39,600 –> 00:36:44,160
all the things you have and ask
Him to bless you with the

580
00:36:44,160 –> 00:36:45,800
blessings He has in store for
you.

581
00:36:46,360 –> 00:36:49,680
Ask Him to guide your steps in
the direction you need to go.

582
00:36:50,040 –> 00:36:54,760
Ask to be His hands that day and
then dedicate that day in your

583
00:36:54,760 –> 00:36:58,480
heart to God.
You do that and you live that

584
00:36:58,480 –> 00:37:02,280
way that day and you’re going to
be able to find opportunities

585
00:37:02,280 –> 00:37:06,600
coming your way where you can be
the hands of God and where you

586
00:37:06,600 –> 00:37:08,640
can make a difference in
someone’s life.

587
00:37:10,040 –> 00:37:13,640
I know this because I’ve been
there and I’ve tried it and it

588
00:37:13,640 –> 00:37:16,160
works.
I know this because I’ve taught

589
00:37:16,160 –> 00:37:19,200
it to others and they’ve tried
it and it works.

590
00:37:20,560 –> 00:37:24,240
Additionally, keep a journal.
Write in it First thing.

591
00:37:24,560 –> 00:37:27,240
Some things you’re grateful for,
gratitude statements.

592
00:37:27,240 –> 00:37:30,120
Start your journal with that.
Do it at bedtime.

593
00:37:30,680 –> 00:37:35,400
Do it 1520 minutes before bed.
Write in that journal the things

594
00:37:35,400 –> 00:37:38,240
you’re thankful for and your
victories that day.

595
00:37:38,320 –> 00:37:39,920
What victories did you have that
day?

596
00:37:40,160 –> 00:37:43,880
A victory over darkness.
OK, you’re going to end your day

597
00:37:43,880 –> 00:37:48,640
on a positive note, full of
gratitude and full of victories

598
00:37:48,640 –> 00:37:52,400
over darkness.
And what that does is that gives

599
00:37:52,400 –> 00:37:56,000
you a good night’s rest because
you’ve put things down.

600
00:37:56,840 –> 00:37:59,360
You’re not ruminating.
Oh, the third entry is

601
00:38:00,040 –> 00:38:02,000
gratitude, victories over
darkness.

602
00:38:02,000 –> 00:38:05,520
Please take notes on this.
And how did I see God’s hand in

603
00:38:05,520 –> 00:38:09,520
my life today?
And then anything I want to

604
00:38:09,520 –> 00:38:11,720
remember.
And what did I learn about

605
00:38:11,720 –> 00:38:14,680
myself today?
If you do that every day, after

606
00:38:14,680 –> 00:38:16,760
90 days you will be a different
person.

607
00:38:17,600 –> 00:38:20,520
And it’s a very minute change
each day.

608
00:38:21,080 –> 00:38:24,680
But if you do it consistently
for 90 days, after 90 days you

609
00:38:24,680 –> 00:38:27,040
are looking at the world
differently because you are

610
00:38:27,040 –> 00:38:30,840
thinking differently.
Your brain, again, going back to

611
00:38:30,840 –> 00:38:35,840
the user’s manual part, your
brain is helping you to see the

612
00:38:35,840 –> 00:38:41,120
world as it is looking for it.
You have to find ways to change

613
00:38:41,120 –> 00:38:43,280
that if you want to see things
the way God does.

614
00:38:44,280 –> 00:38:46,360
Well, God tells us to be
grateful for everything.

615
00:38:47,240 –> 00:38:53,400
So when we are looking for the
lesson in our challenges,

616
00:38:53,840 –> 00:38:57,920
instead of seeing them as a
curse, when we are looking with

617
00:38:57,920 –> 00:39:01,440
gratitude for everything around
us, we train our brain, which is

618
00:39:01,440 –> 00:39:05,160
naturally hardwired to look for
problems to keep us alive.

619
00:39:06,120 –> 00:39:14,320
I need to train my brain to be
full of gratitude and looking to

620
00:39:14,520 –> 00:39:19,480
conquer darkness.
And if I can do that, then what

621
00:39:19,480 –> 00:39:22,040
happens is my brain lives that
way.

622
00:39:22,960 –> 00:39:27,040
When you live in a world of
gratitude, you are so blessed

623
00:39:27,400 –> 00:39:31,360
you have riches galore like you
can’t imagine.

624
00:39:32,680 –> 00:39:35,560
I was once bedridden for 18
months.

625
00:39:36,320 –> 00:39:39,440
Technically, I was bedridden for
four or five months.

626
00:39:39,440 –> 00:39:41,360
I was housebound for about 18
months.

627
00:39:41,360 –> 00:39:44,960
I was so sick and so weak for
that five months, I couldn’t

628
00:39:44,960 –> 00:39:47,160
move.
I mean, I could move my wrist

629
00:39:48,160 –> 00:39:52,560
and I could think clearly about
20% of the time.

630
00:39:53,520 –> 00:39:57,760
What can you do?
Well, I vowed to be cheerful and

631
00:39:57,760 –> 00:40:01,280
I vowed to be patient, but I
didn’t know how to be cheerful,

632
00:40:02,040 –> 00:40:04,040
couldn’t look forward.
I didn’t know what I had or if I

633
00:40:04,040 –> 00:40:06,560
was going to live.
And if I did, I didn’t know if I

634
00:40:06,560 –> 00:40:09,680
was going to get better.
And my present wasn’t wasn’t

635
00:40:09,680 –> 00:40:12,760
looking so great either.
So I looked at the past.

636
00:40:13,720 –> 00:40:15,760
Ding.
I’ve lived an amazing life and I

637
00:40:15,760 –> 00:40:17,680
never took the time to add it
all up.

638
00:40:19,000 –> 00:40:23,240
You know, snorkeling in the Red
Sea, climbing the pyramids,

639
00:40:23,240 –> 00:40:27,880
going all over in Israel and
seeing oil and Egypt and seeing

640
00:40:27,920 –> 00:40:32,040
all of the sights of the Bible
as we studied the Bible.

641
00:40:32,280 –> 00:40:37,320
Wow, being a missionary in South
America, traveling all over the

642
00:40:37,360 –> 00:40:43,200
US, working with generals and CE
OS in a prior business, I got to

643
00:40:43,200 –> 00:40:46,720
work with some incredible
people, but I also got to work

644
00:40:46,720 –> 00:40:53,320
with some incredible, let’s see,
truck drivers and Realtors and

645
00:40:53,400 –> 00:40:55,480
just down to earth, wonderful
people.

646
00:40:56,680 –> 00:41:00,720
And I’m really grateful, really
grateful for all of that.

647
00:41:01,360 –> 00:41:03,440
Have you ever said what else
could go wrong?

648
00:41:04,640 –> 00:41:08,120
Yeah, try saying it differently.
What else could go right?

649
00:41:09,920 –> 00:41:14,480
You start adding it up, and
pretty soon you’re experiencing

650
00:41:14,480 –> 00:41:17,600
all of those at the same time.
And that’s powerful.

651
00:41:18,160 –> 00:41:22,160
When my daughter told us that,
she was expecting, She had told

652
00:41:22,160 –> 00:41:25,000
my daughter earlier in the day,
but she wanted to tell her

653
00:41:25,000 –> 00:41:28,040
parents simultaneously.
So my daughter was upstairs

654
00:41:28,040 –> 00:41:30,520
hiding from me all day ’cause
she didn’t want to let it slip.

655
00:41:31,680 –> 00:41:36,320
And when we were on the phone,
my son was visiting with his

656
00:41:36,320 –> 00:41:41,200
family and they heard us
squealing in the other room and

657
00:41:41,200 –> 00:41:43,240
so they came in to see what was
going on.

658
00:41:44,040 –> 00:41:47,680
So my daughter told them and
next thing you know we have a

659
00:41:47,680 –> 00:41:50,920
room full of people all gathered
together and there was so much

660
00:41:50,920 –> 00:41:53,600
love in that room.
All I could say was it looks

661
00:41:53,600 –> 00:41:57,760
like all heaven broke loose.
It really felt that way.

662
00:41:57,760 –> 00:42:00,680
There was so much love and joy
and happiness there.

663
00:42:02,080 –> 00:42:07,800
I have stacked up all the good
and I have felt incredible joy

664
00:42:07,800 –> 00:42:09,720
in it.
You can do it.

665
00:42:11,040 –> 00:42:16,320
So those are my tips for today.
Prayer Bible directly from the

666
00:42:16,320 –> 00:42:22,480
Bible and then journaling.
Those will give you a boost up.

667
00:42:24,000 –> 00:42:27,360
And those are accessible to
anyone, like you said today.

668
00:42:28,160 –> 00:42:31,160
But the good news is, is that if
there is someone that wants to

669
00:42:31,160 –> 00:42:34,520
go deeper, you have created
opportunities for that.

670
00:42:34,520 –> 00:42:37,240
So what could that look like
with your content and your

671
00:42:37,240 –> 00:42:41,240
courses?
Well, I have a course and I do

672
00:42:41,240 –> 00:42:43,640
coaching.
It’s actually not a course.

673
00:42:43,640 –> 00:42:47,600
It’s a five day one-on-one
challenge where I work with my

674
00:42:47,600 –> 00:42:52,680
clients and we do 5 days of
one-on-one coaching and we work

675
00:42:52,680 –> 00:42:57,840
through that simple challenge of
becoming a child of God.

676
00:42:57,920 –> 00:43:02,040
First in your heart.
Because it takes 5 days of

677
00:43:02,040 –> 00:43:05,520
one-on-one challenge and for
some people, even longer to

678
00:43:05,520 –> 00:43:08,080
internalize it.
It depends where their head

679
00:43:08,080 –> 00:43:10,040
space is and what they’re
dealing with.

680
00:43:10,560 –> 00:43:15,080
But if you can take those
thoughts and get it into your

681
00:43:15,080 –> 00:43:18,880
heart, you get a spring in your
step in a burden.

682
00:43:18,880 –> 00:43:21,080
Lighten that.
There’s nothing that compares.

683
00:43:21,760 –> 00:43:24,920
That’s her starting point.
And then the next thing that we

684
00:43:24,920 –> 00:43:29,240
do is we have a course that
teaches that and five godly

685
00:43:29,240 –> 00:43:34,480
habits that are transformative.
And from there we go to working

686
00:43:34,480 –> 00:43:39,640
with our identity even deeper.
And then the big step, which is

687
00:43:39,880 –> 00:43:43,600
that full and complete surrender
of our lives, our heart, our

688
00:43:43,600 –> 00:43:46,160
soul, our everything to Jesus
Christ.

689
00:43:47,240 –> 00:43:52,560
And internalizing that is so
hard when we’re not fully there,

690
00:43:52,680 –> 00:43:56,560
when we’re not fully committed.
But when we give everything to

691
00:43:56,560 –> 00:44:01,360
God, that’s when life begins.
That’s when life becomes happy

692
00:44:02,040 –> 00:44:04,360
on a grander scale than you can
imagine.

693
00:44:05,080 –> 00:44:09,000
And it doesn’t cut everything
out of your life, but what it

694
00:44:09,000 –> 00:44:12,480
does is it helps you to focus on
what’s most important, the

695
00:44:12,480 –> 00:44:14,280
things that God wants you to
focus on.

696
00:44:14,760 –> 00:44:18,160
And then there are things that
fall out of your life because

697
00:44:18,160 –> 00:44:21,480
they distract from that.
Instead of doing the good things

698
00:44:21,800 –> 00:44:24,520
or even the better things, you
are doing the best things

699
00:44:24,520 –> 00:44:26,280
because that’s what God wants
you to do.

700
00:44:27,200 –> 00:44:30,400
The next step is I teach the
four skills for happiness.

701
00:44:31,480 –> 00:44:37,280
And then we go on, and I love
this step, which is finding our

702
00:44:37,560 –> 00:44:41,760
new purposes and new directions.
Whether you’re an empty nester

703
00:44:41,760 –> 00:44:45,720
or an estranged mom, finding
those purposes at this stage of

704
00:44:45,720 –> 00:44:50,120
your life, whether you have a
career or not, suddenly you have

705
00:44:50,120 –> 00:44:53,960
time and emotional energy you
didn’t have when you were busy

706
00:44:53,960 –> 00:44:57,080
raising children and suddenly
they don’t need you as much.

707
00:44:57,800 –> 00:44:59,800
What are you going to do with
all that mother love you’ve

708
00:44:59,800 –> 00:45:03,000
developed?
So we work on that in that

709
00:45:03,000 –> 00:45:06,480
stage.
I do coaching as well, and it’s

710
00:45:06,480 –> 00:45:10,320
all available through my
website, whichismaritwelker.com.

711
00:45:10,360 –> 00:45:17,320
MARITWELKER.
I’m a strange Christian mom’s

712
00:45:17,320 –> 00:45:22,520
coach on Instagram.
I love, love, love helping these

713
00:45:22,520 –> 00:45:26,560
women and seeing them come alive
again when they’re hurting so

714
00:45:26,560 –> 00:45:30,440
long and so much, you know,
they’re not speaking the same

715
00:45:30,440 –> 00:45:33,160
language as their children
because they grew up in very

716
00:45:33,160 –> 00:45:37,040
different worlds.
That separation brings a lot of

717
00:45:37,400 –> 00:45:42,880
misunderstanding and pain and
judgement between the

718
00:45:42,880 –> 00:45:46,200
generations.
So I’m telling you, I’ve been on

719
00:45:46,200 –> 00:45:49,600
both sides.
Whether your pain is as a parent

720
00:45:49,600 –> 00:45:52,720
or as a child, the pain is real
for both.

721
00:45:53,480 –> 00:45:55,560
And so let’s do something about
it.

722
00:45:55,960 –> 00:45:57,360
Currently, I’m working with the
moms.

723
00:45:57,360 –> 00:45:59,920
Eventually I also hope to be
working with the children.

724
00:46:01,400 –> 00:46:04,080
And as we close out, is there
anything else that God’s putting

725
00:46:04,080 –> 00:46:05,880
on your heart that you feel led
to share?

726
00:46:07,320 –> 00:46:15,040
God wants me to tell you, parent
or child, that He loves you and

727
00:46:15,040 –> 00:46:19,440
that He understands, but
especially to the mothers and

728
00:46:19,440 –> 00:46:25,880
fathers He understands more than
anyone because His children

729
00:46:26,000 –> 00:46:31,920
rejected Him and still do.
And I have been one of those

730
00:46:31,920 –> 00:46:37,120
children rejecting Him in my
actions and words, and so have

731
00:46:37,120 –> 00:46:41,000
you.
But He is faithful to forgive,

732
00:46:42,160 –> 00:46:46,960
and He’s standing there with his
hands stretched out, still with

733
00:46:46,960 –> 00:46:51,680
love, with such compassion and
understanding of your

734
00:46:51,680 –> 00:46:55,120
circumstance.
He knows what it is.

735
00:46:55,880 –> 00:46:58,920
And while your child may not
know how much a parent can love,

736
00:47:00,280 –> 00:47:02,520
please know that he loves even
more than you do.

737
00:47:03,280 –> 00:47:05,640
And he’s got your child and you
in his hands.

738
00:47:07,200 –> 00:47:11,520
He understands.
He loves you.

739
00:47:11,920 –> 00:47:15,560
Just reach up, let them take you
by the hand and pull you in the

740
00:47:15,560 –> 00:47:39,400
direction you need to go.
In Luke 15, beginning with verse

741
00:47:39,400 –> 00:47:42,520
11, Jesus tells a familiar
story.

742
00:47:43,840 –> 00:47:46,920
There was a man who had two
sons.

743
00:47:47,760 –> 00:47:51,720
The younger one said to his
father, Father, give me my share

744
00:47:51,720 –> 00:47:55,320
of the estate.
So he divided his property

745
00:47:55,320 –> 00:47:59,040
between them.
Not long after that, the younger

746
00:47:59,040 –> 00:48:03,880
son got together all he had set
off for a distant country, and

747
00:48:03,880 –> 00:48:07,320
there squandered his wealth in
wild living.

748
00:48:08,440 –> 00:48:11,320
Many of us know this story of
estrangement in the New

749
00:48:11,320 –> 00:48:14,760
Testament.
So much of this parable

750
00:48:14,760 –> 00:48:18,880
indicates that the father was a
good father, and yet the son

751
00:48:19,120 –> 00:48:23,480
took his inheritance and left.
And there is a big gap here

752
00:48:23,640 –> 00:48:25,400
regarding the father’s
experience.

753
00:48:26,200 –> 00:48:30,200
What was his grief like?
Did he wrestle with identity?

754
00:48:31,160 –> 00:48:35,480
And what did he hold hope?
We don’t pick back up his story

755
00:48:35,480 –> 00:48:40,720
until verse 20, but while the
son was still a long way off,

756
00:48:41,080 –> 00:48:44,680
his father saw him and was
filled with compassion for him.

757
00:48:45,360 –> 00:48:49,720
He ran to his son, threw his
arms around him, and kissed him.

758
00:48:50,680 –> 00:48:54,120
He later calls for a celebration
and in verse 24 says for this

759
00:48:54,120 –> 00:48:56,480
son of mine was dead and is
alive again.

760
00:48:56,640 –> 00:49:02,040
He was lost and is found.
Despite the estrangement, love

761
00:49:02,040 –> 00:49:06,320
for his son remained.
But estrangement isn’t the only

762
00:49:06,320 –> 00:49:09,680
element of this passage that’s
relevant to this conversation.

763
00:49:10,600 –> 00:49:15,560
Let’s jump back to verse 14.
After he had spent everything,

764
00:49:15,880 –> 00:49:20,000
there was a severe famine in
that whole country, and he began

765
00:49:20,000 –> 00:49:23,280
to be in need.
So we went and hired himself out

766
00:49:23,280 –> 00:49:26,800
to a citizen of that country,
who sent him to his fields to

767
00:49:26,800 –> 00:49:31,520
feed pigs.
He longed to fill his stomach

768
00:49:31,520 –> 00:49:35,480
with the pods that the pigs were
eating, but no one gave him

769
00:49:35,560 –> 00:49:38,920
anything.
When he came to his senses, he

770
00:49:38,920 –> 00:49:42,840
said, How many of my father’s
hired servants have food to

771
00:49:42,840 –> 00:49:45,800
spare?
And here I am starving to death.

772
00:49:46,760 –> 00:49:50,400
I will set out and go back to my
father and say to him, Father, I

773
00:49:50,400 –> 00:49:52,440
have sinned against heaven and
against you.

774
00:49:53,080 –> 00:49:56,240
I am no longer worthy to be
called your son.

775
00:49:56,840 –> 00:49:59,840
Make me like one of your hired
servants.

776
00:50:01,120 –> 00:50:05,440
At the start of this story, the
Son did not want Son to be part

777
00:50:05,440 –> 00:50:08,320
of his identity.
He wanted to separate from his

778
00:50:08,320 –> 00:50:10,680
father.
Asking for the inheritance

779
00:50:10,680 –> 00:50:13,320
before his father had passed was
like saying to his father,

780
00:50:13,320 –> 00:50:17,640
you’re as good as dead to me.
Being a son was not an identity

781
00:50:17,640 –> 00:50:20,280
he held to.
And yet in his wild living he

782
00:50:20,280 –> 00:50:23,080
discovered he could not sustain
the identities he had been

783
00:50:23,080 –> 00:50:26,400
chasing.
When famine hit, he went from

784
00:50:26,400 –> 00:50:30,160
being one of means to hiring
himself out to someone in the

785
00:50:30,160 –> 00:50:34,600
country, going from living in
luxury to longing to eat what

786
00:50:34,600 –> 00:50:38,440
the pigs were eating.
And in a moment of desperation,

787
00:50:38,720 –> 00:50:43,240
he resigned himself to the
identity of a servant no longer

788
00:50:43,240 –> 00:50:47,840
worthy to be called a son.
Yet the father never saw him as

789
00:50:47,840 –> 00:50:51,280
anything less than that.
And when Jesus told this story,

790
00:50:51,280 –> 00:50:55,440
it was a parable for us, a
reminder that no matter what we

791
00:50:55,440 –> 00:51:00,600
do, no matter how far we try to
run, God will always see us as

792
00:51:00,600 –> 00:51:04,640
his children, will always love
us as his children.

793
00:51:05,720 –> 00:51:09,800
This is our true identity.
And no matter what happens, no

794
00:51:09,800 –> 00:51:14,120
matter how low we feel, this
identity can lead to

795
00:51:14,120 –> 00:51:17,160
celebration.
Sometimes it takes a journey

796
00:51:17,160 –> 00:51:19,960
like the Suns for us to get to
this understanding.

797
00:51:20,440 –> 00:51:25,080
But when we do, we find that
God’s love is greater than all

798
00:51:25,080 –> 00:51:28,800
the wealth of the world, that
God’s love can overcome famine

799
00:51:28,800 –> 00:51:33,000
and brokenness, that God’s love
can bring a restoration we not

800
00:51:33,000 –> 00:51:36,000
only don’t expect, but don’t
believe we deserve.

801
00:51:36,880 –> 00:51:42,360
You are a child of God, loved by
God, and that identity is true

802
00:51:42,360 –> 00:51:45,480
for you today.
Look for signs of it around you

803
00:51:46,160 –> 00:51:49,040
and ask yourself, where did you
see God?