The following is from “How Long, Lord?”, available on Amazon.

 

Look on me and answer, Lord my God.
Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death…
Psalm 13:3

 

I remember a time I felt utterly hopeless.

It was not that I was giving up; rather, I finally accepted that there was no path forward.  I had tried everything, given years to perseverance and problem solving, and had hit a point where it was clear there was nothing I could do.  Only God could save me… would He?

This was not the first time David had cried out to God, and having reached the end of the road he could not handle another day of God’s avoidance and silence.  “Look at me!  Answer me!  I’m on the verge of death!”  David sounds hyperbolic, but those who have hit this depth of pain and isolation know the seriousness of his words.

When we reach the end of that road, it may be the first time we are truly able to “seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness.”  Prior to that we are indeed seeking Him, but for a reason; we seek Him so that our situation changes, and that is not seeking first His Kingdom, but ours.

When our kingdom crumbles and draws to an end, we begin to finally release our grip.  When we find that our efforts and plans can come to ruin, we finally consider what it means for God to be enduring.  As long as we have a kingdom to protect, we will by default.

David assumes God’s avoidance and silence because his kingdom has not yet been saved; he can’t see that God actually is present and watching, and though He may let David’s kingdom die, he intends full life for the man.

Find the week-long devotional here.